Brandon Hernández 1 p.m., March 28
Review: Ten reasons not to see The War of the Buttons
10.) You have zero interest in seeing what it would have been like had Walt Disney produced a live-action Nazi drama in the 1960’s. (The Incredible Journey? The Absent Minded Oberführer? Emil and the Schutzstaffel?)
9.) Who wants to see Laetitia Casta in a PG-13 picture?
8.) Holocaust films should never end with a closing crawl that basically states, “And they lived happily ever after.”
7.) Nazis are nothing more than stock buffoons who can be warded off by adorable tykes armed with stones and slingshots.
6.) You’ve heard of Holocaust denial? The War of the Buttons will put you in Holocaust-film denial.
5.) Wait for it to be released on VOD and then don’t watch it.
4.) No karate and it's subtitled.
3.) Because one well-intentioned Holocaust film a year is more than enough and you’re already seen Agnieszka Holland’s masterful In Darkness.
2.) The task of teaching children about the Holocaust should be left to parents and educators, not the for-profit Weinstein Company. Until filmmakers can resist sentimentalizing the Holocaust, it’s one subject that should never be given a fictionalized treatment.
1.) The Weinstein Company annually likes to dangle Holocaust-themed films (Life is Beautiful, The Reader, The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas, Good, Defiance) in front of Academy voters. Every awards season Harvey Weinstein leads the charge with “We must never forget...there’s still plenty of money to be made off Hitler’s inferno!”
Reader Rating: Zero Stars
Click if my ringing endorsement left you longing for showtimes.
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