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So when I got home from seeing The Lorax, The Wife asked, "Well? Did they rape your childhood?"

"Not really," I admitted. "It was more of an aggressive, unwanted groping than a rape."

But my people - the miserable, bitter wretches of Generation X - are not easily mollified when it comes to the rape of their childhoods. Seriously. No, I mean it. So naturally, when word came down that Michael "Boom" Bay was taking on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and was planning on making them aliens instead of riffs on Daredevil, the Man Without Fear...well, someone cried rape.

But here's the thing about rape: it's not consensual. And when Hollywood does something, it does it for money. And if there isn't consent, well, then there's no money. If we'd all stayed away from the first Transformers, there wouldn't be a Transformers 4 in the works. So maybe rape isn't quite the right word?

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Comments

Joaquin_de_la_Mesa March 21, 2012 @ 1:17 p.m.

I don't care how many pop turds of our generation get mangled, rearranged, or otherwise mutilated by hollywood. Michael Bay can do whatever he wants to the Mutant Ninja Turtles. Have at it.

But when you rearrange Tolkien, I get pissed.

CURSE YOU PETER JACKSON!

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John Rubio March 21, 2012 @ 1:32 p.m.

With all due sincerity, thanks for this Matt. You are absolutely right. This word has become, for the uninitiated and unimaginative, a grenade that they (the young and adult alike) fumble about with like a plaything.

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Scott Marks March 21, 2012 @ 2:29 p.m.

If Michael Bay is inevitable, relax and enjoy it.

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Joaquin_de_la_Mesa March 21, 2012 @ 2:38 p.m.

Enjoying might be possible... if Bay were more gentle.

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