Barnaby Monk 5 a.m., Dec. 7
So when I got home from seeing The Lorax, The Wife asked, "Well? Did they rape your childhood?"
"Not really," I admitted. "It was more of an aggressive, unwanted groping than a rape."
But my people - the miserable, bitter wretches of Generation X - are not easily mollified when it comes to the rape of their childhoods. Seriously. No, I mean it. So naturally, when word came down that Michael "Boom" Bay was taking on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and was planning on making them aliens instead of riffs on Daredevil, the Man Without Fear...well, someone cried rape.
But here's the thing about rape: it's not consensual. And when Hollywood does something, it does it for money. And if there isn't consent, well, then there's no money. If we'd all stayed away from the first Transformers, there wouldn't be a Transformers 4 in the works. So maybe rape isn't quite the right word?
More like this:
- New releases opening this week: Star Trek Into Darkness, The Iceman — May 17, 2013
- Interview: Seven Psychopaths wrangler, Martin McDonagh — Oct. 12, 2012
- It's "Kick Michael Bay Thursday" at The Big Screen — Aug. 16, 2012
- So, What Are You Doing Tonight? — July 1, 2011
- Oh, dear, Megan, Part 1 — June 28, 2011