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Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is Bob "For Hugo" Hope speaking to you from the grave, right here, putting in my annual Oscar-day appearance for The Big Screen.

Hey, how 'bout that Martin Scorsese's Hugo, huh? Wadn't that something? Solid! Poor little fella has as much chance of winning as Dolly Parton does seeing her feet.

I used to pull focus for Melies, you know? I thought for sure I'd be mentioned in there somewhere.

Word just arrived from the Third Canto (we get CNN where I'm at) that the liberal cats at the Academy are voting for The Artist in order to stick it to us French-hating Republicans. Do you think that I have any regard for the French? Go rent Paris Holiday? I wouldn't let Dolores feed the kids Franco-American Spaghetti. Save that Gallophile garbage for Jerry Lewis. I wanna' tell you, I've eaten more than my fair share of "freedom fries" and still want Marty to win.

Enough of that stuff. What about this nutty Big Screen Live Oscar-blog thing tonight, with Lickona and Marks? Wait a minute...Lickona and Marks? Who are they? I must not have had on my glasses when I read the press release. I thought it said Jerry Colonna and Groucho Marx.

But seriously, they're the two nuts up San Diego way. I dig 'em the most. Look at this picture, ladies and gentlemen:

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"...So the traveling salesman turns to the farmer's daughter and says, 'Ring, hell! That's my wristwatch!'"

[Photo credit: Fuzzy MacUlar.]

Nice PhotoShot job. Since when did Ray Charles start freelancing? And who is that on the right, Jonah Hill? Marks hasn't been that svelte since Truman was in office. Ever wonder why Lickona looks so happy all the time? He's got more kids than Cantor and Crosby combined!

Don't forget to join in the fun starting tonight at around 5:00 p.m. SPT (Subastral Pacific Time). This isn't going to be your everyday blog, folks. Lickona downloaded some fancy-shmancy kinda' thing here that promises to make The Big Screen cook faster than Minny can extrude pie filling.

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Be sure to catch my bookend appearances in The Oscar currently playing at Kensington Video. More satisfying than than all the actual ceremonies combined! Berle, Boyd, and Joe Cotten joined me the other night and had a few cheap laughs at Tony Bennett's expense. And don't forget to buy Easter Seals. Give, so more will live.

Go, Marty! G'night.

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