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If you can't see Satan in the above series of Ashtanga yoga poses, then you're not looking hard enough.

"I'm all for health and wellness," says concerned parent Pearl Clutcher, "but I know for a fact that Eastern religions are just devil worship in disguise. Mind you, I'm not suggesting that Hindus know they're devil-worshippers. I'm sure they have good intentions. But you know what they say about the paving on the the road to hell!"

Clutcher has been moved to speak in response to the Encinitas Board of Indoctrination's recent decision to implement an Ashtanga yoga class into the school's physical education curriculum. Because yoga is just Satanism with good PR, some parents have sued the school to have the program removed, "if only to keep the schools consistent on the point of separation between church and state."

"I know some people don't believe what I say about yoga," continues Clutcher. "But some people don't believe in global warming, either. Just because you don't believe it doesn't mean it isn't true. Let's consider the evidence. Every Ashtanga yoga routine is supposed to end with three concluding poses, one of which is called Padmasana. Just take a look."

None

"Please," concluded Clutcher, clutching the strand of pearls about her neck, "won't somebody think of the children?"

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Comments

Doc Anchovy May 23, 2013 @ 2:56 p.m.

Give it a rest, Xenophobe Lady. And, does Goat/Devil/Yoga Monster have nice boobs or what?

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mnewhous June 7, 2013 @ 8:42 a.m.

I'm for outlawing ignorance and thinking problems. The image is not the devil ( and even if it were, it's just somebody's drawing since real photos of the devil are hard to come by.) Check out this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMvJE3...

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ardnas June 14, 2013 @ 6:22 p.m.

These are poses in satanic cults. Anything that can put the mind in a blank state is dangerous for the spirit of that person. That way things that are not of GOD THE Heavenly Father start controlling the person's mind BUT everything starts with the mind. Control of the mind is not of GOD. HE gives us free will and peace above all if we let HIM in our lives and heart and mind.

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