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JC: UI star Xeno, the spunky xenophyophore amoeba who refuses to just drift along and accept his fate

When Scripps Institute of Oceanography researcher Natayla Gallo was selected to review the 25 hours of video footage collected by James Cameron during his historic dive to the bottom of the bottom of the sea, she was thrilled. "First, I was delighted at the opportunity to participate in this historic project. Never before has mankind been able to make such a careful study of the undersea world at this depth. Cameron provided us with vast quantities of rich data - and all filmed in 3-D! I discovered at least two new species - a sea cucumber and a multi-mouthed worm - all thanks to Cameron's willingness to invest so much time and money in the development and deployment of his Deepsea Challenger sub. The man is a true explorer. And second, it was so cool to work with the man who made Avatar, my favorite film of all time!"

But as Gallo began to read the press surrounding the Institute's decision to award Cameron the 2013 Nierenberg Prize for Science in the Public Interest, she started to see the project in a new, less flattering light. "I started reading all this stuff from scientists and commenters about how humanity is going to need to start needing to extract more and more resources from the sea. I started reading about how this research could help us do that. And I started to realize: James Cameron is leading the invading force, and the bottom of the ocean is Pandora."

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Cameron's research vessel/attack ship

So Gallo has started editing the 25 hours of footage into a feature film designed to reflect this reality. "I've brought in some CGI, and an all-star cast. [Cameron ex-wife] Linda Hamilton is playing the voice of the Sea Cucumber, and [Cameron ex-wife] Kathryn Bigelow is in talks to direct. The world has got to know that James Cameron is really [Avatar villain] Miles Quaritch."

Reached for comment, Cameron noted that he was also preparing to use the footage from the dive for a feature film, "and Gallo is about to learn what my HMFIC hat means."

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