Liz Swain 4:24 p.m., May 24
Meow, my long-lost Uprighters. Though I guess "long-lost" really applies more towards myself and my cat-abouts. I heard through the grapevine that the presence of Two Legs and myself has been requested. Well, meow and you shall receive.
I must admit, however, that my disappearance from pawing you all the events of my days is no fault of my own. You see, I am at the mercy of Two Legs and his Uprighter whims and he has made it abundantly clear that under no circumstance am I to touch the computer.
(Poster's Note: Her furious typing only leaves fur embedded between the keys. Very difficult to clean.)
But I decided I'd had enough of his antics-
(Poster's Note: Hence this message I received in my email inbox today and the fur between the letters on this keyboard.)
-and am regaining my superiority in this household. Such a silly Uprighter to think he can keep a good cat down. You humans never learn, do you?
I'll be honest, though. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened since the last time I wrote. Much of the same, really. Just making sure Two Legs doesn't fall apart and that I have a clean litter box. I've seen a few of my neighborhood feline friends around but very infrequently. Two Legs has kept the windows closed so I have been unable to cat-verse with them. Unfortunately they appear slightly malnourished, though. Two Legs says that because being an "outdoor cat," whatever that means, can be a hard life. I say we have nine of them so really, we can waste a few and to let me out every once in a while.
(Poster's Note: She's completely off her rocker if she thinks I'll ever let her outdoors. It's a cruel world out there and she deserves nothing but the best and gets that indoors.)
Anycat. I just wanted to say Two Legs and I will do our best to return to form and get back to our rightful duties as South Park blogging residents. And on that note....
"Cats, no less liquid than their shadows, offer no angles to the wind. They slip, diminished, neat, through loopholes less than themselves." ~~ A.S.J. Tessimond