Liz Swain 5:30 p.m., Sept. 22
- Community Blog
South Park Cat Tales: The Red Rover (#3)
October 20th, 2009 A.D.C.
I'm an easy-going cat, not too finicky a feline.
(Poster's Note: Ahem.)
Now, I know Two Legs will disagree but he's only human. I forgive him.
(Poster's Note: Sigh.)
But there is a very distinct difference between what I require and what I desire. In fact, the list for what I desire really depends on my mood. For example, there are times where this box just isn't big enough for Two Legs and I. I need to get out and run and smell whatever I smell outside of the window. But there are times where there is no better place than here. The list of requirements goes like this, and in no cat-ticular order:
Food and water, sleep, a clean litter box, attention, cat nip, the red thing that zips along the floor and walls and is terribly elusive.
See? That's not much.
(Poster's Note: Wait. The red thing that- oh! She means the laser pointer. She loves that thing.)
The food and water for obvious reasons, as well as the clean litter box. The sleep because you humans seem to think only a third of the day sleeping is enough but you couldn't be any more wrong. The attention because, well, I deserve it. The cat nip because right up there with purring, there is no better high. But what I want to talk about is that red dot, that sneaky little bastard.
Now, I don't know if you Uprighters-
-have anything that completely grabs you by the instinct and nothing, and I mean nothing, can get it to let go but that's what this is like. I have learned over the years that I can never actually catch it, as I only get a mouth-full of the carpet or wall, but the thrill is definitely not gone.
When Alo was around, the competition to catch the red bastard was fierce. He was a good bit bigger than me so I usually got out of his way but the times I didn't I regretted. Though a cat his size gets tired quicker so while he would catch his breath, Two Legs and I would keep my hunting skills intact, just him and I.
Now, I know why Two Legs only plays at certain times in the day. It's because he knows it tires me out and I won't bother him in the middle of the night. I'll be sleeping. So I'll just let him keep on believing that.
(Poster's Note: Wait. What?)
Sure, it really does tire me out and sometimes it can make me sleepy enough to sleep for a little while but I usually just take a me-nap and then I'm ready to go again. So I scream, "Hello?" in a very exaggerated tone so Two Legs knows that not only do I know he's in the other room but that I'm also not acknowledging his presence because he is not acknowledging mine by going to sleep. Over time I have learned that screaming all night gets me nothing more than a sore throat so now I just play loudly with every single toy available, those stupid fake mice included.
But really, all I want is to catch the red dot. It is very quick and agile. If it had fur and whiskers I might think it was one of me. I mean, not as fantastic as me of course but you know what I'm meowing about.
And now, a very wise quote:
"After scolding one's cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference." ~~Charlotte Gray