Trump dismisses San Diego-based lawsuit, citing primacy of “showbiz” over “regular biz”

Are you not entertained?

FEDERAL COURTHOUSE, SAN DIEGO — “Politics is show business, people,” said Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump at this morning's press conference. “It has been ever since the Lincoln-Douglas debates, and probably before that. All this ...

Rapper Snoop Dogg defends lousy first pitch at Padres game

Calls it, “Pitching my pitching to the playa’s playing."

Rap legend Snoop Dogg threw out the first pitch for the Padres June 8 home game against the Atlanta Braves, though calling it a “pitch” might be a bit generous: the ball sailed so far ...

Visiting professor complains about San Diego State mascot’s pregame ritual sacrifices

"That’s racist murderous.”

Everybody loves it when Monty the Montezuma plunges his blade into the chest of an opposing team’s mascot and extracts the sometimes-still-beating heart. Everybody, that is, except San Diego State visiting professor Sogy Sponge. Sponge ...

Local company celebrates Hillary Clinton’s selection as the first female robot presidential candidate

Brain gain

“Hillary Clinton’s selection as the Democratic candidate for President is now as certain as the replacement of humanity by robots,” says Brain Corporation Chief Communications Officer Sarah Brum. “So, in a way, it’s totally fitting ...

Chargerspeak

Wordplay unlikely to entertain true Boltlievers.

“Convadium,” crooned my partner in gadabouting Pemberton Throckmorton III, drawing out the “a” and lingering just a moment on the “m.” “Just listen to it! It’s the space of the future! What can’t you do ...

Farting clowns make big stink

Gassy group Musical Fruit demands apology and investigation following Petco Park's second National Anthem mixup in a month

“Here at the San Diego Padres,” says the team’s Executive Chairfellow Ron Fouler, "we’ve always believed in the healing power of humor. I mean, can you think of another Major League Baseball outfit that’s had ...

Police beat back angry mob from barrier wall at downtown Trump rally

Demos vs. demogogue?

“If those people wanted to come in,” says Trump supporter Guy Oldman, "they could have applied for entry passes like the rest of us. Instead, they’re showing complete disregard for the law by trying to ...

Hillary sends husband Bill as one crying out in the wilderness

“Trust me, San Diego, you don’t want to feel the Bern.”

On May 21, Bill Clinton addressed a crowd of Democrats at Bonita Vista High School in Chula Vista in preparation for the California primary election on June 7. Press was excluded from the event, but ...

Donald Trump promises, if elected, he'll send U.S. Special Forces to recover American jobs being held on foreign soil

Bring them home

Donald Trump spoke to a sellout crowd at the San Diego Convention Center yesterday, telling Republican supporters that he is the only choice for a country on the verge of disintegration. “Entropy is the law ...

Following campaign stop in Vista, Bernie Sanders hunts down and kills wild investment banker at the San Diego Safari Park

The most dangerous game

Sanders: “For too long, the investment banker has viewed himself as the apex predator: he hunts freely and consumes whatever he likes, but nothing can touch him. I’m here to serve notice that those days ...

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