Flat Albert: Mother Goose parade float suffers mysterious deflation

Everybody knows Bill Cosby's lovable animated creation, Fat Albert. But what everybody doesn't know is that the corpulent cartoon was all set to appear in this year's Mother Goose parade in El Cajon. All set, ...

Coming distractions

Move over, Tilikum; a new captive beastie is about to take your place on the silver screen. Tilikum is the killer whale at the heart of Blackfish, the searing documentary that exposed the danger posed ...

God denies robbing Rivers' rib

Deity: "I love the guy, but that's not how I work any more."

MARVELING AT THE WONDERS OF GOD'S CREATION, CHARGERS STADIUM — Ever since San Diego Chargers tight end Antonio Gates let slip to reporters that Jesus-loving quarterback Philip Rivers has been playing through the pain of ...

How CityBeaten thinks

Alt-weekly is terrified about "radical downturn in advertising" and "CityBeatless" society

It's been a good long time since we've told you folks about what CityBeaten's been up to. CityBeaten, you might recall, is the Reader's competition in San Diego's alternative-newsweekly market. Since it's a slow news ...

Horror House

SDSU President defends decision to partner with fledgling FOX News movie studio.

Statement from San Diego State President Elliot "Moneyman" Hirsh: "We understand that some members of the University community — particularly those associated with the Kappa Delta sorority — are unhappy with our decision to go ...

Tearing down the ivory tower

SDSU prez cites pay raise, tuition hike as valuable "real world experience" for students.

Guest Editorial by San Diego State University President Elliot Hirshman A recent article in these pages cast aspersions on the likely event that I would receive a pay raise, even as SDSU was imposing new ...

Disease-ter update

News about falling gas prices cited as cure for Ebola/West Nile/meningitis panic.

"San Diego has been hit with a rash of disease news of late, and disease news is a terrible vector for panic," says UCSD Professor of Masses Management Elaine Panacea. "It spreads rapidly, often mutating ...

Halloween 2014: San Diego places second in nationwide city costume contest

In a surprise upset, the City of San Diego took second place in this year's City Costume Contest, an annual nationwide affair judged by the editors of Forbes Magazine. San Diego's costume, "Major City," narrowly ...

(Love)Crafting a moist tomorrow

City Council turns to offspring of Elder Gods for drought relief

On November 1, Kevin Faulconer, mayor of the city formerly known as San Diego, approved the City Council's proposed mandatory water restrictions. Among these are such expected requirements as limiting lawn irrigation and watering fruit ...

So-called "Booty Bug" has San Diego college kids on high alert

Students at UCSD, SDSU, USD, PLU, CSSM, Palomar College, and other schools throughout San Diego are reporting high levels of anxiety this week following multiple hospitalizations caused by the deadly meningococbloccal bacteria. The disease, which ...

UCSD professor claims next stage of human evolution already underway

Guest column by Dr. Herbert "Hamburger" Helper, Chair of UCSD's Department of Evolutionary Biology The scientific truth is that two out of every three Americans are overweight, and one out of every three is obese. ...

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