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Wednesday, February 21 American Idol FOX 8:00 p.m. Ah, damn. The nut bats and moon cookies are out, and the real contest starts. Screw this. I want the ding-dongs in tuxedo T-shirts caterwauling a fingernails-on-the-chalkboard rendition of "Afternoon Delight," not the half-talented hopefuls with a smidge of stage presence and a vanilla version of "Let's Get It On." I guess I'll wait until next season to see more delusional fruit pots. Bummer.

Thursday, February 22 Juvies MTV 10:00 p.m. An MTV program about how teenagers, unaccustomed to society and treating their life as if it's disposable, are sent to juvenile detention. The irony, MTV. The stiff irony of it all.

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