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"DimeStories Open Mike" -- 02/05/10 at Ruby Room
Go to www.dimestories.org for more details.— December 22, 2009 3:39 p.m.
Amy Wallen Will Give You Crickets
Josh, you taking me way too seriously. I know how a ball is twirled on one's finger. I was giving it a three-minute pun. I was joshing you.— December 2, 2009 4:16 p.m.
Amy Wallen Will Give You Crickets
Or you can go to the DimeStories website and hear Beth's recorded reading of the piece from the birthday party. www.dimestories.org Home page right hand column in all her glory!— December 2, 2009 4:07 p.m.
Amy Wallen Will Give You Crickets
If you can keep a basketball spinning on your finger for a full three minutes I hope you get nominated to the Globetrotters. Do they even exist any longer? Thanks Josh! This is great. I hope folks will come out to read/listen/balk at DimeStories this Friday, Dec 4th 7pm at The Ruby Room in Hillcrest. It's not a birthday party, so no cake, but our regular monthly prose open mic. And, we have started Audience Choice Awards, so when someone like Beth reads her hilarious bathroom piece you, Josh, can vote for her recorded piece to be posted on the website, and maybe it will even make it to podcast on iTunes or be selected as one of the public radio pieces. We record every event! Check out the website, find us on Facebook, Twitter, and in person.— December 2, 2009 1:30 p.m.
Up, Up and Away...in a silver balloon
My theory is the parents wanted their balloon rescued for them, so they stuffed the kid in the attic, told him if he was real quiet for about 4 hours they'd give him a whole bag of m&ms and then they called the cops, told a whopper of a story, so that the balloon would be returned safely. Remember the little girl that died while flying a plane a few years ago? Her parents said they were okay with it because she had always wanted to fly a plane and it was her dream. She was 10, I think. When I was 10 I wanted to have my own pony. Should my parents have let me have one and then made me go get a job to pay for its boarding at the stable and bales of hay? I think maybe so. Gotta go put a guilt trip on my mom.— October 16, 2009 8:37 a.m.
Music Notes (Carly Simon, Paul Anka, Michael Jackson)
I had a writing professor who claimed "You're so vain" was really about him. He had dated Carly before James Taylor. I thought that was the most hilarious thing because he truly was the most vain person I have ever met. Every class he taught he used his own writings to teach from. We had to read all his essays when they were published as required reading. And he would often spend half of the class time telling us why his fake British accent sounded fake. So, I believe him--Carly's song really was about him, and all the other guys she'd come to realize were not interested in her half as much as they were interested in themselves. If you want to know who it is, you'll have to ask me in person. So, there's a special place in my heart for Carly and her stupid song. I'd like to write a stupid song about a lot of people I've dated or been married too. Maybe I'll just write a stupid article instead. But I digest...good for Paul Anka.— October 15, 2009 9:52 a.m.
Polanski Children Center -- Celebrity Idiots in the News
I'm still not quite sure why this is coming up now. Roman hops back and forth from France to Switzerland quite regularly. He has a chalet there. Couldn't the LA prosecutors have shown up almost anytime between now and 30 years ago? What's up with that? My theory is that with Michael Jackson dead and the economy really hurting the Hollywood TV helicopter industry, that they needed a really good high profile trial, so the judges and prosecutors in Hollywood, got together over Trader Joe's blintzes and Starbucks Cafe Freddos and decided that they had to have something going on, and since John Phillips was dead, they couldn't go after him. While they sat there contemplating the whole the dilemma, one of them pulled out his Swiss Army knife to cut that last tofutti filled blintz in two, and probably Judge Ito, or someone else said, "Hey! I have an idea!" And now here we are with a big new high profile pedophile case on our hands. TV news stations are reserving the helicopters as we speak. That said, I hope they use the army knife's tiny toothpick and the corkscrew on him. I hope they make Roman realize that he should have stuck around for that 48 days he had left to serve and maybe now he won't have find out what a dirty cell next door to Manson is like. Steve Lopez of the LA Times had a great piece in yesterday's paper detailing the court records of the girl's testimony. Hideous, what Roman did to her--oral, ANAL, and just plain ordinary sex on a 13-year-old?? (Sorry, Josh, I'm not as polite as you with the euphemisms). I'm glad they finally got him, I'm sorry he's had a rough life, but that never excuses someone doing something hideous to someone else, in fact it should make him think twice. I'm sure it was the girl's own Auschwitz. If I had not had my Swiss Army knife taken away at airport security, I would take the miniature spoon and carve out the itsy bitsy raisin of a heart that Roman has.— October 1, 2009 noon