Don Bauder 7:35 p.m., June 19
So, I have this friend that needs an apartment. Just for six months, a year, maybe. A temporary situation. She wants to stay in the Ocean Beach area, so another friend of ours recommends the units across the street from her house.
This friend is sassy and competent. Good credit, decent car, cute. She makes an appointment to see one of the units, a studio apartment. She arrives with credit report in hand. The unit manager is about 60, portly, wearing sweat pants and a tee-shirt with a hole under the arm. He holds out his hand to shake hers and tells her “nice smile”, which is true; her smile can light up a room.
As he shows her the unit, he goes on and on about how he travels all the time. She’s thinking “this guy travels from the fridge to the couch”, but she plays along. He’s got a shtick, and she’s not buying a word of it, but she wants the unit. He goes on and on about himself.
He tells her “everything looks great. This is a good situation”, he just needs her bank statement. She offers to write a check to hold the unit, but he says it’s not a problem, just come back with the bank statement and she can give him the check then. She says “I’ll be right back. I just live a few minutes away”, and she stops to chat with our friend across the street for about ten minutes, then goes home to retrieve her bank statement.
When she comes back, she starts to write the check, and he reminds her it is for $710.00, and she asks him “how about $700.00?” He says no, the amount is $710.00, to which she lets him know that it is not a problem, “what’s ten dollars? It was worth a shot”. He looks at her and then states “I’m not going to rent it to you anymore.” She says “Seriously? I was only gone 20 minutes.”
He proceeds to let her know that while she was gone “all that time”, another couple came and looked at the unit, and they gave him a check, which she did not. Astonished, she reminded him that he said she could bring the check back with the bank statement. “Well, that, and you haggled over the price”, was his response. She tells him “I’m a Realtor, that’s what we do! And I could have given you a check just like the couple did!”
His response? “But they did, and that was the magic moment. You missed your magic moment.”
At that moment, a young man was walking up with his hand outstretched to shake that of the apartment manager. As she turned to leave she heard the portly man say “nice smile.”