It's occurred to me that I have neglected to write about sex and classical music for months now.

I've said that if one wants to learn how to kiss, listen to Bruckner's 8th Symphony 3rd movement. Furthermore, this isn't sex music unless you've found your soul mate.

I've been listening to the Grieg Piano Concerto in A minor almost every day for the past few weeks. I kept thinking, Well, I can't say what I was thinking because it is profoundly profane. Let's clean it up and say I was thinking, Holy moly, that's sexy music.

It's far sexier than anything I can think of in the popular genres.

First off, it's just over half an hour long; it's not a marathon but it's not a three-and-a-half minute dash to the finish.

There isn't a very steady beat. People tend to complain that classical music has no beat. This confuses me.

Let's get one thing straight. A steady beat is not sexy, it's boring. Anyone out there want have sex with a steady beat? uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-are you done yet?

Fast and slow, loud and soft, ferocious and delicate, intense and relaxed, these things are classical music and these things make for great sex. uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-mediocre-no passion-objectification-commercial-lowest common denominator-base-immature-not sexy.

The thing I like about piano concertos is the relationship between the piano and the orchestra. They play with each other, they shout at each other, they whisper, they fight for control, they yield control, they pull and push, change positions, and work together toward a climax. It's a beautiful thing.

I've chosen to include clips of the entire concerto. The pianist is stunning. The orchestra is too formal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmUPl7Pv0Zg&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zyGR1N6Zuc&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_naCAOev4Go&feature=BFa&list=ULaRCzXfvM6-s&index=2