Russell Goltz 5:10 p.m., Dec. 28
- Community Blog
- Daily Crasher
Stupid is as Stupid Does -- Facebook rants, Poisonous mushrooms, and more
So many idiots, so little time. I'm not sure if I can blog about 'em all in one day. But I'll try, damn it, I'll try.
An 82-year-old guy died. I can't believe this dope made it to the age he did.
This Santa Barbara resident ate wild ocreata mushrooms he picked and sauteed with a steak. The autopsy results weren't released, but I'm guessing he didn't die choking on a piece of gristle.
Then there was the dude in the food eating contest a few days ago. I heard he ate 23 banana pancakes. On the radio, they said it was over 50.
He started foaming at the mouth and died. I'm not sure if at that point, they took away his trophy.
He apparently did choke. It wasn't anything crazy like his stomach exploding.
Then there's the 18-year-old blonde girl that sent naked pictures of herself to a boyfriend. They broke up, and what did he do? He deleted the photos, since they were no longer dating, he had no desire to see her nude.
Oh no, wait, that's not what he did. He showed his friends and everyone else. They all made fun of her. It's hard to figure out what they said, as she looked attractive. But you know teenagers. You could pick on one little aspect of their looks, and they're ready to drop out of high school. Someone at the 25 year reunion that you called her a "brace face" in 10th grade will pull out a Glock.
So, she hung herself in the bathroom. This after attending a funeral, with a few of the friends that made fun of her.
I can't say I have much sympathy for her. And, yeah, I s'pose that makes me a jerk. But really, I think at 18 you should know the ramifications of stupid decisions.
Did she think sending nude photos could possibly turn out positive? Did she look at the pros and cons of this? I'm guessing no.
My friends always say things to me like "Didn't you do anything dumb when you were a teenager?" Well no, not really. A few things here and there, everyone does. But, my two older brothers tell stories about what they did with their first cars. It blows me away. When I drove a '65 Mustang at 16, I didn't even speed in it. I figured a ticket could get me into trouble with the folks. Not to mention paying the fine.
And lastly, there's the guy that worked for the Philadelphia Eagles for six years. He was upset the team let Brian Dawkins sign with the Broncos. I don't blame him.
Among the things he posted on his Facebook page: "Dam Eagles R Retarted!!"
I would say, before calling someone "retarded", you should at least know how to spell that. I'll give him a pass on "damn".
He's now posting about how horrible it was the team fired him, and how he "apologized 20 million times. And they couldn't even bring me into the office to talk to me. They had to do it over the phone. At least look me in the eye. To get done dirty like this, I can't believe it."
Another thing about idiots. They never like how they're fired, or how you break up with them. If had friends text a girl that it's over, she's furious it was by text. If you email, same thing. The phone isn't any better.
So, if my current girlfriend and I ever break up, I'll make sure we're at Mr. A's. Although, then she'll probably say "Can you believe that guy? Takes me to a nice restaurant for once in his life. And, he breaks up with me there!"
More like this:
- A Day in the Life (of traffic court) — Oct. 4, 2009
- Ladies and Gentleman...the President of the United States of America. Or a Prankster — Dec. 5, 2008
- Friends Don't Let Friends....Do Stupid Things — Aug. 3, 2008
- That Jokes Old — Aug. 2, 2008
- Sweet Dreams — April 26, 2008