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A May Day in January -- Pilot Faking His Death

When that businessman crashed his plane and faked his death, a few things popped into my mind.

First, that there were people that believed Jim Morrison and Elvis faked their deaths. Or that the Beatles covered up for Paul dying.

That was always so weird to me.

And second, that I was driving by that plane that recently crashed near the 805 minutes after it happened.

But boy did this story get weirder and weirder.

When you're a pilot and you're a bit crazy, the world (or the sky, anyway), is your oyster.

There was a guy in Egypt years ago, that took an entire plane down, killing over 200 people on board. It turns out he was suicidal because of problems with his wife.

As a kid, I remember seeing a TV program about D.B. Cooper, the guy that was on a plane and told the flight attendant he was angry about the in-flight movie.

And, he said there were bombs on the plane and they'd go off unless he got money. He got a few hundred thousand dollars, I believe. I don't know, though, if the plane was carrying more money and he knew that, or what.

But, after he collected the money, put it in suitcases, he then put on a parachute and jumped out of the plane.

He was never seen again and people called it the perfect crime.

That was until a few years back when a few kids found a lot of the money in the mountains. And, a few years before that, it was presumed he had died because of where he would've landed, and the distance he would've had to walk in what would've been cold weather.

My friend Tom is a pilot, and he'll take women up when he wants to impress them. I remember a time he hit another planes propeller while coming out of his hangar. That ended up costing him a lot of money, because even though there wasn't damage to either plane, an FAA rule requires that the other planes propeller be replaced, just in case there was damage that wasn't seen.

This businessman had swindled people out of money, his companies were under investigation, his wife filed for divorce, and he skipped a court hearing.

He radioed in and said the windows smashed in and blood was everywhere.

He put the plane on auto-pilot and parachuted out, while his plane crashed into a swamp. Authorities knew he was lying, when there was no blood and the windshield wasn't damaged the way he said.

I saw CNN patting themselves on the back, when this guy was apparently watching their network to see how he was being tracked, after he had gotten a motorcycle out of storage and had sent an email to a friend.

I'm guessing when Elvis faked his death and went to Kalamazoo, Michigan, he didn't send any texts or emails.

And who doesn't know the trick we all learned from bad cinema? When you want to fake your death, you go ask a homeless person to join you for a meal, and then to join you in the plane.

That way, they find a body.

Of course, you pick a homeless person that's your height, and maybe have him shave first.

I'm just sayin'.

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When that businessman crashed his plane and faked his death, a few things popped into my mind.

First, that there were people that believed Jim Morrison and Elvis faked their deaths. Or that the Beatles covered up for Paul dying.

That was always so weird to me.

And second, that I was driving by that plane that recently crashed near the 805 minutes after it happened.

But boy did this story get weirder and weirder.

When you're a pilot and you're a bit crazy, the world (or the sky, anyway), is your oyster.

There was a guy in Egypt years ago, that took an entire plane down, killing over 200 people on board. It turns out he was suicidal because of problems with his wife.

As a kid, I remember seeing a TV program about D.B. Cooper, the guy that was on a plane and told the flight attendant he was angry about the in-flight movie.

And, he said there were bombs on the plane and they'd go off unless he got money. He got a few hundred thousand dollars, I believe. I don't know, though, if the plane was carrying more money and he knew that, or what.

But, after he collected the money, put it in suitcases, he then put on a parachute and jumped out of the plane.

He was never seen again and people called it the perfect crime.

That was until a few years back when a few kids found a lot of the money in the mountains. And, a few years before that, it was presumed he had died because of where he would've landed, and the distance he would've had to walk in what would've been cold weather.

My friend Tom is a pilot, and he'll take women up when he wants to impress them. I remember a time he hit another planes propeller while coming out of his hangar. That ended up costing him a lot of money, because even though there wasn't damage to either plane, an FAA rule requires that the other planes propeller be replaced, just in case there was damage that wasn't seen.

This businessman had swindled people out of money, his companies were under investigation, his wife filed for divorce, and he skipped a court hearing.

He radioed in and said the windows smashed in and blood was everywhere.

He put the plane on auto-pilot and parachuted out, while his plane crashed into a swamp. Authorities knew he was lying, when there was no blood and the windshield wasn't damaged the way he said.

I saw CNN patting themselves on the back, when this guy was apparently watching their network to see how he was being tracked, after he had gotten a motorcycle out of storage and had sent an email to a friend.

I'm guessing when Elvis faked his death and went to Kalamazoo, Michigan, he didn't send any texts or emails.

And who doesn't know the trick we all learned from bad cinema? When you want to fake your death, you go ask a homeless person to join you for a meal, and then to join you in the plane.

That way, they find a body.

Of course, you pick a homeless person that's your height, and maybe have him shave first.

I'm just sayin'.

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