San Diego Reader

I'm getting so annoyed with the San Diego Blood Bank.

I've given over 15 gallons of blood to them over the years. That's a lot of needle pricks.

Maybe the pain of needles is off-set by the love of free donuts, who knows.

I guess my logic is...it's helping out. And it's easy enough to do.

I tried driving down to their Upas location near Balboa Park a few times. That was a disaster.

One time they had a truck blocking my car in the lot, and it took me 15 minutes to track down the person to move it.

Another time they talked me into doing that thing where they take cells from your blood, and put the blood back. It takes a lot longer, and it makes you feel really weird. You have a sensation in your chest that is a bit uncomfortable. Well, they had problems with that machine, and they weren't able to take my blood that day.

When they talked me into doing that machine again when they had the blood mobile out, they had problems again. I said, "Well...you already have the needle in me. You might as well take my blood the regular way." They replied with "Oh no. We can't do that, because once we start this, we aren't allowed."

I've stopped doing that machine, even though they often beg me to, saying how much it's needed.

I had to tell the Blood Bank over and over, to stop calling me. I have a landline that I use at home, for friends and family. I don't need them calling me to ask for my donation. Sometimes I'd even say "I just donated two weeks ago. Don't I have to wait 8 weeks?"

I finally told them to stop calling or I'd stop donating. That didn't work.

So when I went to their next blood mobile location, I sternly told them they had to erase my phone number from their system. They looked at me like I was nuts, but it worked.

For a while, there had been no problems at the Blood Bank. I think I went a year with smooth sailing.

And now this last year, it's back to frustrating me.

I went to Pat & Oscar's for lunch, and saw their blood mobile set up. I told them I thought I had donated five or six weeks ago, and wasn't sure if I was eligible to donate again. They said, "Oh, we'll look at tell you if you can't."

I figured that meant they would do it right then. Instead, I spent 10 minutes filling out the forms. And that's always a weird thing. A list of questions asking what countries I've been to. They ask if I've ever been paid for sex (I wish), if I've ever had piercings, or sex with another man. Or if I've ever even looked at another man in "that way." (okay, they didn't ask that, but almost every other question about homosexuality).

I'm standing out in the hot sun at noon, reading the sports page, only to have them bring me inside, go to the computer to ask me some of the same questions I just filled out on the questionaire, and I'm told "Oh...you gave blood five weeks ago. You can't donate now."

And I can't get mad at the person telling me this. He did nothing wrong. I wanted to go outside and say to the old guy working "Didn't I ask you if you could find all this out?" But who knows. He might be a volunteer.

I went to Comic-Con, and after 10 minutes of looking around the Convention Center, I'm ready to go.

So I went to their blood drive. I told them, "Now...I think I may have given blood 6 o r 7 weeks ago. Can you check, so I'm not spending all this time here, only to be told I can't donate?"

The woman told me she'd check. But again, I'm filling out forms asking me if I've taken aspirin in the last 48 hours, if I like vampire movies, and a bunch of other stuff.

And again, I was told I wasn't eligible for another five days.

On Friday, my racquetball guys cancelled on me. And I know the groups of people I play basketball with, never get together on Friday. But I hit up the LA Fitness in Kearny Mesa just to see if I could find a game. I couldn't, but saw the blood mobile.

I knew I was eligible to donate blood, because of the Comic Con thing. I filled out all the forms, and thought about being funny. One question asked if I was pregnant. Oh, the possibilities there were endless.

I thought about Bill Murray in Stripes, when asked by the Army recruiter if he was gay. He said something like "No...but that doesn't mean we're afraid to experiment."

And what happens? The guy asks me for a picture ID. They always do. But the problem was...I had just seen Dr. John and James Cotton at the Belly Up Tavern the night before. I forgot that I had left my wallet in my girlfriends purse.

I said to the guy, "You could ask me all that info on your computer. My bloood type, address, mothers maiden name, anything." He said, "Even if an employee here swore up and down that it was you, we can't take blood without a picture ID."

Okay. I guess having blood donations aren't as important to them as I thought.

But the funny thing was...a woman was leaving. She said that her allergies were so bad, she couldn't donate. But she asked them for a free lunch coupon for Souplantation. And they gave it to her!

And I quickly thought about the time I was at Pat & Oscar's. A woman said that she had taken some aspirin, and they said "Sorry, you can't donate." She then got a sad look on her face as she said, "Oh darn. I took the time off work, to come down here. Can I at least get a thing from Pat & Oscar's for lunch?"

And they gave her one!

And that same day, a guy walking by came in, and just wanted a few Rice Krispie Treats that they were handing out to people that had donated.

Now, I wouldn't ask for something free when I didn't donate. But part of me wanted to grab these idiots by their scrubs and say "Are you guys idiots?! You're giving away free stuff to people that aren't giving you blood."

Instead, I just blogged about it.