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The Name Game: Angelina Jolie's Latest Kid

I knew something wasn't right in Jolie's head when she hooked up with Billy Bob. Then she got his name inked everywhere, kept his blood around her neck, made out with her brother at an awards show, and she adopted like, 10 kids. I think she was trying to set some record held by Mia Farrow.

She seemed to start acting more normal when she got together with Brad Pitt. Her rate of adopting kids slowed down a bit. And, she got pregnant with her own kids.

Well, back to me thinking she's a nut again. I found out she named one of the kids "Knox Leon Pitt." That might be good name if you're a boxer. Or, the name of a garage that works on Buicks. But not a baby name. Can you imagine saying, in that baby voice, "Oh...look at the cute little Knox. Look at little Leon." He probably has the same amount of teeth right now as boxer Leon Spinks.

It makes Nicole Kidman, with Keith Urban, almost seem normal with the name of their baby the other day...Sunday Rose (was "Cracklin Rose" taken?)

But really...celebrities have a long history of this. Remember Frank Zappa and his kids Ahmet, Moon Unit (the Valley Girl), and Dweezil? It helps that their father was actually intelligent.

Bruce Willis and Demi had weird names for their kids. I can only think of two right now -- Scout, and Rumor. One of them turned 18, and legally changed their name, saying she always hated it.

I've had friends tell me they think celebrities do it for attention. I seriously doubt that. They hate the attention. I think, that they don't think. Sometimes, a person like John Travolta...that dude loves flying his planes. So he named his kid "Jet." Yeah, it's a silly name. But at least it makes a bit of sense. And almost sounds like a real name (you think of Joan Jett, anyway).

Spice Girl Geri Halliwell named her kid Bluebell Madonna. Unless you're Patti LaBelle, what is with that name? Unless she tells me Madonna and the Bluebells were her two favorite groups....well, even if they are, it really doesn't give you the right to saddle your child with a crappy name.

If you love Neil Diamond, should your kid be named "Diamond," or [insert crappy Neil Diamond song title here].

Nicolas Cage loved Superman. He named his son after Superman's character name. Nope, not Clark Kent. That would be to...uh, normal. It was something like "Na'ta'ral." I butchered that, but probably not by much.

Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain named their child "Bean." I met someone with that name this weekend. They were a cool Beans, but that was their last name.

Gwenyth Paltrow named her kid Apple. She's married to the Coldplay singer. A kid that has a one parent that acts and another that's a musician, probably has a 3.8% chance of having a normal name.

I remember when their second child was named something somewhat normal like "Isaac" -- I just thought how it could've been another fruit. Or something that went with Apple, like Caramel.

Bob Geldof named his daughter Fifi. It makes me wonder...did his wife give birth to a poodle?

It seems musicians do this more often than actors. China and Bijuou Phillips. The list goes on and on. At least if they would pick song titles. Or the names of musicians that influenced them. Sean Penn named his kids "Dylan" and "Hopper". Wanna guess who they're named after? Of course, Hopper should say "Uh, dad? Was there something wrong with using Dennis?"

My older brother is named Lewis. I'm sure glad my parents didn't decide to name me Clark. Although, I would've liked being named William. I would be a "Bill Board."

It would be like growing up the way the kid did in "A Boy Named Sue."

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I knew something wasn't right in Jolie's head when she hooked up with Billy Bob. Then she got his name inked everywhere, kept his blood around her neck, made out with her brother at an awards show, and she adopted like, 10 kids. I think she was trying to set some record held by Mia Farrow.

She seemed to start acting more normal when she got together with Brad Pitt. Her rate of adopting kids slowed down a bit. And, she got pregnant with her own kids.

Well, back to me thinking she's a nut again. I found out she named one of the kids "Knox Leon Pitt." That might be good name if you're a boxer. Or, the name of a garage that works on Buicks. But not a baby name. Can you imagine saying, in that baby voice, "Oh...look at the cute little Knox. Look at little Leon." He probably has the same amount of teeth right now as boxer Leon Spinks.

It makes Nicole Kidman, with Keith Urban, almost seem normal with the name of their baby the other day...Sunday Rose (was "Cracklin Rose" taken?)

But really...celebrities have a long history of this. Remember Frank Zappa and his kids Ahmet, Moon Unit (the Valley Girl), and Dweezil? It helps that their father was actually intelligent.

Bruce Willis and Demi had weird names for their kids. I can only think of two right now -- Scout, and Rumor. One of them turned 18, and legally changed their name, saying she always hated it.

I've had friends tell me they think celebrities do it for attention. I seriously doubt that. They hate the attention. I think, that they don't think. Sometimes, a person like John Travolta...that dude loves flying his planes. So he named his kid "Jet." Yeah, it's a silly name. But at least it makes a bit of sense. And almost sounds like a real name (you think of Joan Jett, anyway).

Spice Girl Geri Halliwell named her kid Bluebell Madonna. Unless you're Patti LaBelle, what is with that name? Unless she tells me Madonna and the Bluebells were her two favorite groups....well, even if they are, it really doesn't give you the right to saddle your child with a crappy name.

If you love Neil Diamond, should your kid be named "Diamond," or [insert crappy Neil Diamond song title here].

Nicolas Cage loved Superman. He named his son after Superman's character name. Nope, not Clark Kent. That would be to...uh, normal. It was something like "Na'ta'ral." I butchered that, but probably not by much.

Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain named their child "Bean." I met someone with that name this weekend. They were a cool Beans, but that was their last name.

Gwenyth Paltrow named her kid Apple. She's married to the Coldplay singer. A kid that has a one parent that acts and another that's a musician, probably has a 3.8% chance of having a normal name.

I remember when their second child was named something somewhat normal like "Isaac" -- I just thought how it could've been another fruit. Or something that went with Apple, like Caramel.

Bob Geldof named his daughter Fifi. It makes me wonder...did his wife give birth to a poodle?

It seems musicians do this more often than actors. China and Bijuou Phillips. The list goes on and on. At least if they would pick song titles. Or the names of musicians that influenced them. Sean Penn named his kids "Dylan" and "Hopper". Wanna guess who they're named after? Of course, Hopper should say "Uh, dad? Was there something wrong with using Dennis?"

My older brother is named Lewis. I'm sure glad my parents didn't decide to name me Clark. Although, I would've liked being named William. I would be a "Bill Board."

It would be like growing up the way the kid did in "A Boy Named Sue."

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