San Diego Reader

On KGBs morning show, they did a list of the Top 10 worst songs. I have to say, I was a bit disappointed with the list. Here it is, with my comments after each song:

1. Who Let The Dogs Out - Baha Men. No problem with this being on the list. Wasn't there another band that also did this song? Strange, that there's only one Stairway to Heaven, but two "Who Let the Dogs Out." But when you are talking about the Top 10 worst songs...I dunno. It seems this song could've been down in the 20s.

2. Ice, Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice. I never liked this song. But, when it came out, I was just so mad they took the cool riff from Queen's "Under Pressure." When I talked to DJ Xavier the X Man at 92.5 and he went on about how great this song was, I thought maybe I was missing something. If you listen to the rap, it isn't half bad. I think the song gets rated badly, though, because it's Vanilla Ice. And he's such a joke.

3. She Bangs - Ricky Martin. This song is awful. I have to admit, though, I liked Livin' La Vida Loca. That rockabilly/surf guitar riff is excellent (although the lyrics are on the weak side).

4. Barbie Girl - Aqua. This is a bad song, but...isn't this more of a novelty tune? If you have this on the list, there are probably 50 songs like this to choose from.

5. U Can't Touch This - MC Hammer. I could never figure out why anyone liked this song. Sampling Rick James is a good first move. But, the lyrics. They're awful. The dance, just stupid. And you know, everyone talks about Hammer losing all his money. Yet, why is it Vanilla Ice I've seen on two different reality shows? What is Hammer doing to make money now?

6. I Am Woman - Helen Redey. Okay, well, I kind of like this song. Lyrically and vocally. It was used great in a Burger King commercial a year ago, too.

7. I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred. This is also one of those songs that was more of a novelty tune. It's annoying when the news does a show about models, they always have to play this. The same way they do when there's a segment on lowriders, and we hear War.

8. Ebony And Ivory - Paul MCCartney And Stevie Wonder. I thought this song was okay. Paul has always been a bit weak with lyrics without Lennon.

9. MACarena - Los Del Rio. This song is horrible, but hey...that dance was so popular. I bet it's still done at weddings to this day. You know, if record producers always want bands to have a hit single, why not tell them to come up with a song that has a dance that can go along with it...like YMCA.

10. My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion. Now, I was glad to hear one of the DJs at KGB say they liked this song. I'm not afraid to admit I do as well. Yes, of course you got sick of it. The thing was played daily, on all the radio stations. But those pipes (both vocally, by Celine, and the instrument used in the song), were beautiful.

I looked around the web, because a few other times the lists I've blogged about, have been so much longer. I saw that Blender did a list of the 50 worst songs. Of course, most of these were on it. Some of their choices were odd. They had "Breakfast at Tiffany's," which I kind of like (minus the line about "i said/she said" which is kind of goofy).

They had Simon & Garfunkels "Sounds of Silence," which they called pretensious. Okay. But, the song still works.

Surprisingly, the Beatles made the list with Ob La Di. I remember in an interview John Lennon said that was the only Beatles song he hated.

They had a Bryan Adams song. To me, they should've just put 75% of his catalog on the list!

There was a tune by New Kids on the Block....but a band like that, or O Town...all those "boy bands," I don't think you can realistically put them on a list like this. Those bands are conceived to appeal to little girls. They have dance routines and styled hair and clothing. To look at the songs and dissect them the way you would another artist, is insane.

Meal Loaf made the list, with "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do that). Of course, there big complaint was that doesn't make sense. About as much sense as Alanis in her hit "Ironic".

They have Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire," and they mention a few versus they hate. I just don't like songs that are lists. And, this was goofy besides. Joel does have a lot of tunes I love, though.

Rico Sauve was on the list. I hadn't thought about that song in a long time. The best thing about that was...when you saw a guy at a club that tried way too hard, it gave us something to call him.

Shiny Happy People was on the list. Which is a song that gets stuck in your head, but if you really think about it, isn't such a good tune.

Blender also had Will Smith on their list, for some song called Millenium, which I barely remember. It bothered me that they knocked Smith for having "G rated lyrics." Why does everyone knock him for that? Do people knock Disney for releasing G rated movies? If his songs suck, fine. Knock that aspect of them. But not the lyrics. It's so strange. If a rapper does gangsta rap, they get knocked by critics. If they do "g rated lyrics" they get knocked. What do they want? PG 13 lyrics?

They had that Crash Test Dummies song. I believe it's called "mmm". Weird title. Any song that has humming for a chorus, definitely deserves to be on the list. And, what is with that singers voice? It's really bizarre sounding.

I was happy to see Europe, the heavy metal band that for some reason, thought the keyboard should be the main instrument of heavy metal. Their song "Final Countdown," was up there.

I was disappointed to see The Doors song "The End," which I love. They knocked it for being 11 minutes, for being pretensious, knocked Morrison for being one of the worst lyricists in music history. When I clicked over to see the other lyricists they had, I saw they included Bernie Taupin, who writes all of Elton Johns songs.

That's when I realized I didn't have to be mad at Blender. They're just a bunch of idiots.