Garrett Harris 7 p.m., May 24
- Community Blog
- Daily Crasher
Women Need Bigger Ones
Women and breast implants; and road trips that require bathroom visits.
I thought about titling this "Mind Your Pees and Q's", but I thought more guys would check in if it was titled the way it is.
I want to know why women have bought into this theory that us guys want women with huge breasts. We don't. In fact, we don't really care. Sure, a woman that has a nice figure is attractive. No denying that. But I actually think, and most of the guys I've talked to agree...women with huge fake breasts, look insane.
Turn on those reality shows with Hulk Hogan's wife, or Gene Simmons girlfriend Shanon Tweed. Or what about Anna Nicole Smith? Does anyone really find those fake breasts attractive? They just look like amazon women.
I once was taking these court reporting classes with a girl that was a cute, tiny petite thing. She was going to get implants. I couldn't talk her out of it. I tried to explain that she's cute the way she was. Another girl in the class, had gotten some on her 18th birthday, from her uncle. And yeah, they looked great on her, because they weren't 42 D's. They were just slightly bigger then her natural size, which she said was completely flat.
If you women want some kind of cosmetic surgery that'll make us guys happy...get bigger bladders. I'm sick of being on road trips to Vegas with you, and having to stop every hour to find a bathroom. I understand the Big Gulps we get are huge...I'm actually convinced that a Super Big Gulp holds more liquid then an actual human bladder does.
You women are so bad with this...that two thoughts have entered my mind. The first, is asking you to use that empty Big Gulp cup as a sort of traveling bed pan (what guy out there hasn't done that in a pinch?)
The second thing, is that crazy astronaut chick that drove across country wearing a diaper. She told the cops "It's so I didn't have to waste time stopping for bathroom breaks."
Everyone thought she was crazy when she said that.