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i loved a man who was casual....he had a dry but whimsical wit....we had a similar education....worked in the same hospital together....wore different colored sox on each foot and wasn't colour stupid

and he had the most beautiful legs i'd ever seen on a man

he was newly separated from a wife of 14 years...had 3 boys....the triple M's......Mathew...Mark....And Michael....who he told me he'd die for if need be....and cried....real tears.... i had never seen a man cry

he and his cousin had a steam cleaning business....and he worked many hours a day ....many more then 8hrs to make extra money......he looked many years younger then his true age......was a runner.....loved the beach.....had a childlike innocent....and wanted to clean my rugs and furniture....really pressed it ........had hustle......his eyes were blue with hooded lids...an ever ready smile....was 3 credits away from a degree in Psychology....and had no idea what to do with himself ....an intuitive thinker....who had entered the maze of second adulthood without a map and needed a guide....he dreamed of riding motorcycles in the desert..but in his married state had been unable to make that dream a reality

ah well.....that's where i came in

we accidently met at "Upstart Crow" the bookstore at Seaport Village.......he was looking thru the psychology section for books to buy

he came upstairs to it's reading room....where i was curled up with a book called "Personal Freedom" and we began to visit......

i had only been back in SandyEggo for a few months...had been hired to bring a significant Respiratory presence into the NICU there.....

"your interested in Psychology" he said......... and i began to laugh.......because i wasn't....he had a quizical look on his face and i quickly said...."no...spiritual things...beyond the realm of psychology"

and we introduced each other to our thoughts

i have this strange way of calming other people....and many speak to me of things they never thought they would reveal to anyone.....it's because i'm very revealing....it's like kids huddled together whispering their words into the dark....knowing they will be unjudged and appreciated.....

sometime it's the bus stop thing....

she'll get on the bus and i'll never see her again

sometimes it's more

he poured out his thoughts and feelings about the state of his life....his confusion...his guilt...his hope....his need to get it right with his boys now that he wasn't living in the home....i was kind and candid...i respected and empathized with his "Dark Night of the Soul".......we talked til the store closed and then went for coffee....i had bought my book and just before we left the coffee shop i gave it to him....and said "you need a healing...perhaps this will help"

at 3am i heard the phone ringing that night and when i answer it his voice was on the line......

"listen" he said "i need to talk to you about this book"

and my relationship with Bobby was born

Comments

CuddleFish April 6, 2010 @ 9 p.m.

Oh nan, how beautiful is this ........

Love that part about the legs, nan girl!!!

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nan shartel April 8, 2010 @ 11:16 a.m.

thx fishykins...and he's still got them legs homey!!!

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