Dave Rice 11:30 a.m., Dec. 9
Ill Postino & Kid Unemployed (The Choose Your Own Adventure Version)
Story: I don't know if any of you have trouble receiving mail on a daily basis, even if just wasted trees littered with advertisements on the faces of them. I'm sure this is a problem in many other places but I'm wondering why mail here in this building specifically, if not all of South Park, is so sporadic. For example, I just checked my mail and it was the first time I had anything for six delivery days. Six! And guess what? My mailbox was stuffed with bills and junk mail. It's not like my mailbox is hidden behind a mini-palm tree (if there is one) or guarded by a three-headed wolf-dog (again, if there is one). It's right there attached to the wall, sticking out as if begging to be filled. And yet somehow, like a red-headed stepchild, it gets ignored.
So I started wondering what it would be like if I received unemployment checks and lived hand to mouth, unemployment paycheck to unemployment paycheck. If my mail was randomly delivered, budgeting would be fairly difficult. And if I actually did enjoy the junk mail and coupons, there would be a pretty decent chance that by the time I received notice of a sale, it would be over with or the already "limited supply" would have suffered a fate much worse than limited.
On the other hand, the USPS has taken some big hits lately. A few months ago I received notice that they were closing a nearby office. The letter was more like a never-ending scroll of zip codes that would be "affected" and mine was right at the top. So maybe that has something to do with it. Not sure why the mail system is taking a hit. I can only assume it has something to do with competition from other delivery options but I'm sure that's not all of it. Technology, maybe. Whatever. Either way, they're hurting and it shows.
The Game: I'm going to tell a story but you will choose whether it's through the eyes of a poor person waiting for their unemployment check or through the eyes of an over-worked, underpaid postal worker in South Park. At the end of each installment will be an option to further their story and adventure.
Rules: The first response in the comments section will be the chosen direction. If you are following along and it goes a direction you don't want it to go, have no fear. These choose your own adventure stories tend to come back around to the beginning a few times before it's all said and done.
To Start: To be the poor person waiting for their unemployment check, turn to page 4. To be the overworked, underpaid postal worker in South Park, turn to page 7.