As a kid, I don't think I ever left my Grandma's house without feeling sick to my stomach. A product of the Great Depression, she thought she was doing us a favor by loading all of the goodies into our stomachs that she could buy. My parents didn't help the situation any, They did a lot of what Raquel Welch calls "recreational eating," and subsequently spent thousands of dollars on every fad diet available, including the Pineapple Diet and the one where you eat only chocolate.

I didn't start having trouble with my weight until I got into my thirties. In fact at one time, I was anorexic. But my unhappiness started to cause the extra pounds to appear, and I was so ashamed, I spent my years in exile, not letting any of my former friends see me.

I've been reading Marianne Williamson's book, "A Course in Weight Loss: Twenty-one Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever." And no, I can't say I've lost a million pounds instantly, but I can say that I feel a lot more at peace and as the book promises, I'm slowly getting my eating habits under control because for the first time, I'm facing the food demons that possess me.

I don't want to lose weight only to gain it back, I want to get control over my dysfunctional mind that tells me I have to have a pity party every day.

In the foreward, Dean Ornish, M.D. says that research shows the progression of severe heart disease can often be reversed by making comprehensive lifestyle changes; so can early-prostate cancer as well as diabetes, high blood pressure, elevated cholesterol levels, arthritis, and depression.

I, myself, lost sixty pounds when I was diagnosed with diabetes in 2004, and subsequently went off all medication. Even though I've gained back thirty pounds, I still get exercise and my blood sugar numbers remain relatively low.

Unfortunately, like my parents, I've always been a yo-yo dieter. My weight goes up and down depending on how much I hate the world. That's a joke. My weight is actually dependent on how well or sick I am. For the last few years, I've thrown organized religion aside, where I've seen many unhappy followers, and focused more on meditation, spiritualism and buddhism. I can honestly say that I've been better off psychologically and have not taken a single antidepressant since I've lived a more balanced life.

As Dr. Ornish says, "When we practice listening to our inner voice in quiet moments, we can learn to access it in stressful times when we most need it."

Comments

emstersmom1 March 26, 2012 @ 9:05 p.m.

Amen to that. The yo-yo dieting is the worst. Your body doesn't know which end is up. As for my inner voice.....it usually tells me to eat pizza and drink beer

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