Lucy D. Barker 6:13 p.m., May 23
These were posts in my personal blog, I maintain on another private site, these were written for friends and followers upon Michael Jackson's death, and all the controversy that followed. After reading comments and watching interviews. These were simply my personal thoughts on all that was being said, and what was going on at that time......June 2009 to September 2009. And a quick thought today.
*June 30, 2009......Michael Jackson.
So much has been reported on him this past week, and with his passing so much more to report.....it seems as if every little thing has to be delved into, and all those who opine, on his life......most know very little of the truth, as is true of myself....I know very little.....
There are those who feel the need to say negative, and there are those who feel the need to defend....I do feel the need to give one important opinion of my own.....
And that would be, I really know nothing about his personal life, I only know what has been in the press and tabloid press, [notice I separate the two, as they are two very different entities in my mind, though the line can blur, with all the reality TV craze,] I know I enjoyed his talent as a singer and his dancing. He had some of the greatest videos, if not thee greatest videos. He seemed to care about children, and had a charitable side. And he influenced several generations through his actions.
I also know I have never been around him personally, though once I was in the same room with him, not the same as knowing him, so for me to make judgment on what he did behind closed doors would be an egregious error on my part, cause it would simply be hearsay or in laymens terms, a bunch of crap.
I am under the impression, that because the reports of celebrities is seen on a daily basis, even on the nightly "News" that they become almost as if they are a part of your life almost friend-like, and the line that separates the reality from the fiction, becomes blurred for many, so they are unable to come to the thinking process of , they really know nothing, it is all rumor, innuendo and speculations.....and so the judgments begin.
Me, I don't know.....I hope not, but if it ever comes to light and it is not positive, I can only empathize for those involved, and vice versa, I can only have belated empathy, for the accused. So with that said, I am sad to know we have lost a great talent, and I am sure he was a true friend to many. And of course his beloved family and children, For them I offer my condolences, and prayers.
*July 7, 2009....The Human Being, The Father, Behind The Persona....
"I just wanted to say ... ever since I was born, Daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine. And I just wanted to say I love him — so much," said Jackson's 11-year-old daughter, Paris-Michael.
So many things have been said about Michael Jackson, so many who profess to have known him.......and many of us who grew up with his musical talent, that we have felt close to him ourselves.......But today, beyond the persona, the rumors, the tabloids and the reputation........came forth, the Real Person.......even if only after his passing do we as public get a glimpse of the more human side......it was a lasting impression we will not forget. I for one never will, cause I for one can relate to the most simplistic human emotion of a daughter losing her father, Much too soon.
I believe it is something she, Paris, will have to carry with her, for a lifetime, till she meets his smile once more. It is the common human factor of grief, and compassion that has made this family real to the public. Rather than an anomaly. Right at the moment that Paris spoke, I saw, Aunts and Uncles, Brothers and Sisters, Mothers and Fathers.....I did not see the Jackson's. I did see grief struck people, that needed one another to get through a most difficult time, with so many more to come.
There will be birthdays that will pass without celebration, holidays without emotions, other than to think, cry and feel empty....and the total disbelief, it has really happened.
The family will have days when something good has happened and they will start to make a call or say I should send this to Michael, and with a split second, know the reality, that he, Michael, is not there.....And his children, will go without the hugs and held hands and the smiling face of the man they called Daddy or Dad. The one person they could go to anytime and talk to about anything.....the one that could lift their spirits, Or pick them up when they fell down.....just Dad. Just Dad.
He was not the "King of Pop" to his family, he was a Son, a Brother, a Uncle and a Father. He was in fact a Human Being with human feelings and human emotions....I would not wish his life on anyone, and I prayed for it to be better for him. In-fact, his mortality has ended, but his immortal image will forever be burned into the minds of his admires and adversaries.
I, for one, will, smile when I hear his music, and will enjoy singing his songs on a Friday or Saturday night when I go out.....I've grown up loving the persona of him, and that is what made me feel close. He was a great part of my childhood, and into my adult years.
That will always be there for me. That is what makes it so easy for me to go on with my day......to keep the smile, he so badly wanted.
The emotional thought that went through my mind when a "fan" yelled out, "I love you Janet." during the memorial.....do we have zero empathy and compassion for the family, have we forgotten they are in the grieving process.
So much has been speculated about Michael Jackson's death, and still the rumors and innuendo persist.....And yet they have to put on a public face and eat the emotions, cause if not, it will just turn into more gossip.....
Soon, the reality of his death and his burial will hit many more, and the raw feelings and emotions will emerge....whether you were a fan or not....The words of a child, his beloved child, will strike your heart....and whatever you do to grieve, sing, dance or cry. Imagine what his family feels and say a prayer....then hold your family tight.
God Bless, to you, and my deepest condolences to those who mourn him personally.
*September 26, 2009.......Broken
I was watching the Michael Jackson, Rabbi Shmuley interviews/ therapy sessions.
It was a sad story going on and somewhat odd, but then what did I expect... I guess....it seems as though there will never be a time for rest, for Michael Jackson, or for the public for that matter...I know many that are just, for lack of a better phrase, over loaded on Michael Jackson. I for one find a lot to be interesting, and some just exploitation...this borders..... It seemed to be too private to be aired, yet at the same time it did paint an interesting side of the story....a sad and sorrowful side. The child/man, afraid to grow old....I wondered to myself then out-loud. Maybe the fear he had, was of growing older and becoming all he loathed...The loss of innocence....I really don't know, just a thought.
But in the end, I also wondered out-loud....No matter how much he had, the money, fame and fans....they could not fix the kind of "Broke" he became.
So Sad, So Sad.....Peace be with you, M.J.
* June 25, 2010
In the end, it was a shock to so many. A passing that is a marker in history to all that adored him.....Family, Friends and Fans. That shared emotion. And still somehow, sometimes, because of all the press, it feels somewhat, unreal one year later.