Dryw Keltz

Dryw Keltz is a Reader contributor. See staff page for published articles.

Dean Spanos comes clean about punking San Diego

It really doesn't surprise me that it was a joke all along. What does surprise me is that Kroenke actually played along. Fabiani did do a great job at keeping a straight face for sure. I was actually pretty convinced that the team actually wanted to move. It really was a pretty awesome joke. An epic gag, if you will. In the end, it just all proves how much The Chargers love San Diego. Only the bestest of your friends would put so much time and effort into a practical joke. It's all about the love. I know some people don't think paying for a new Chargers stadium is a good idea, but I think it's pretty obvious that if we do get a new stadium, every worker in this city will make an extra $8,500.00 yearly once it opens. It's just simple math. People like to go and watch football and spend money on stuff, and when people spend money on stuff in the area in which you live all the workers annually make an extra $8,500.00. It's a given, and it has been explained in a couple of articles I have read online. Plus, if we don't get a new stadium everyone will stop coming to San Diego, and all the locals who are loyal to the Chargers will follow them to whatever city they will move to. As in, they will literally quit their jobs as doctors, lawyers and nurses and get new jobs in the new city the Chargers call home so they can continue to make their extra $8,500.00 yearly. It's just simple math and economics and, above all, loyalty to a team. The mass exodus of Chargers fans will wreak havoc on San Diego's economy. Residents will not only lose their extra $8,500.00 annual stadium income, they will also experience massive financial aftershocks from a city suddenly devoid of crowds. Traffic accidents will drop 68% due to a sudden lack of rush hour traffic throughout the county. Tow truck businesses and body shops will go out of business overnight. Collisions at once crowded surf breaks will become so rare, that every paramedic in the city will be forced into early retirement, and the lifeguard force will be reduced to two dudes who can swim real good. Rents will drop to unbelievably low rates as rentals suddenly far outnumber the renters, leaving, fair loving landlords in financial ruin throughout the city. In short, thanks the heavens this was only an elaborate practical joke, and if I could write Spanos a check that wouldn't bounce all the way to the bank due to previous, terribly misguided financial decisions (primarily derived from random internet articles) I would do so.
— February 8, 2016 1:50 p.m.

It's not over. Chargers given time to woo San Diego

If we learned anything from this entire debacle it has to be that the NFL definitely wants a football team and a new stadium in San Diego. This deal seems to have been arranged to make Spanos stay put. They could probably bankrupt him with the relocation fee, and then they toss in an extra $100 million to sweeten the pot down here. But the NFL also obviously played a part in killing Carson as well, so Spanos could be angling to go to Inglewood knowing that he would make less money just to screw both the NFL and San Diego. It is interesting that the NFL has said that it is going to supervise the Inglewood negotiations for the two teams. I don't know which one of those (Kroenke or the NFL) is currently a greater nemesis to Spanos. It almost feels like the NFL just wants to listen in so they can nix anything Spanos proposes. Or perhaps drop some more financial bombs on him such as a "$250 million NFL negotiation fee." The city should also recognize this win and immediately drop any potential public funding out of their stadium proposal. Carson was a charade all along (even if Spanos didn't realize it at the time) and the end-game was always the public shelling out the majority of the money for a stadium down here. They dangled the LA relocation over our shoulders, and the city didn't blink. Now another deadline has been set in a desperate attempt to (once again) milk money out of taxpayers pockets with the threat of leaving. The craziest part of this whole deal is that the Chargers could play an entire season of football in San Diego as this plays out. I mean that is just weird. I don't know if there has ever been such a potentially lame duck team in the NFL...yet another sign that the city called a bluff that the league wasn't expecting them to.
— January 13, 2016 9:07 p.m.

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