Diary of a Diva

Crazy Tree

Will you map the distance from Mia and Kerry’s place to the theater?” I called to David from the bathroom, where I was busy patting my head with wet hands to de-frizz my hair. “Why?,” ...

Sweet People

Barbarella seeks tact and barbecue in Dallas.

If I were asked to describe myself using ten adjectives, “tact” would not be among them. So it was that, upon being introduced to a young man at the opening reception for David’s latest photographic ...

Shark Tank

Every so often I find myself confronted by a seemingly innocuous phrase that rubs me the wrong way. This week, the offending line is “Don’t let it get to you,” a sentiment that simultaneously comforts ...

Better Than Diamonds

I pulled my bare feet onto the bed and smiled awkwardly at the stranger in the room. David and I watched as the man excavated a shard of glass from behind a sofa cushion. He ...

Observation Hour

I thought it would take more than the promise of seeing a few dogs to incentivize making a trip to El Cajon in the middle of a heat wave. The temperature climbs one degree for ...

Mandelbrot Set

I grimaced at the tiny slip of paper in my hand. “I think this one’s written in German,” I groaned. “How am I supposed to give clues or act it out if I don’t even ...

What Didn't You Do?

When my eyes flutter open each morning I am never aware of what the theme for the day will be. I’m not talking about one story, like the same headline posted by 20 different Facebook ...

Side of Judgment

"Isn’t it nice here?” “It’s beautiful,” I said to my friend Jen. I made a sweeping glance of the restaurant’s patio, taking in the coral bougainvillea blossoms, the green leaves cascading from the trellis, and ...

Flakes Turn to Dust

When I pulled up at Mike’s studio and his car was nowhere in sight, my gut clenched with comprehension. I knew even as I was texting “Where are you?” that Mike was a no-show. My ...

Benevolent Dictator

My fist shot straight out from my side, crossing in front of David’s chest, and released an index finger, aimed at the driver of the car to my right. It held the pose for half ...

Hive-Minded

I spend a lot of time online. Okay, more than a lot. The point is, I get around the interwebz. Though I’ve long considered “web surfing” my primary hobby, it wasn’t until I discovered Reddit ...

The Last Unicorns

Terri looked statuesque in a strapless gown made of glittery, sapphire-blue fabric. Katie was a pixie vixen in her black-and-silver-sequined tunic. One might have thought they were on their way to some fancy fundraiser gala ...

Frequent Liar

We had been sitting on the tarmac in Boston for 30 minutes, ostensibly “waiting for catering.” The flight attendants were making their final rounds when the thunderstorm rolled in. By the time the dark cell ...

The Bulldog

Mothers are known to think their daughters-in-law are evil, but I’m pretty sure they don’t go saying it to their faces. Especially mothers-in-law like mine: pre–Civil Rights era women who are always striving to keep ...

Nothing Left to Lose

I’ve got drugs on the brain, mostly because of my current surroundings. I’m on the island of Martha’s Vineyard, to attend my man’s annual photographic art exhibition at the Granary Gallery and visit my in-laws, ...

One Year Later

It had been a long while — almost a year — since I’d last seen the pig. “Is he still drinking?” I asked Sara. “Not really,” she said. “Not like he used to.” “Good,” I ...

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