White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre stands in the runoff pouring through Smuggler’s Gulch in a white Chanel dress in order to demonstrate the region’s cleanliness and safety. “As I’ve said many times from the Press Room podium, the border…is secure,” said Jean-Pierre. “Rumors that the Biden Administration is allowing unprecedented quantities of illegal human effluvia into the United States are, frankly, bullshit. Or maybe human shit. Whatever this stuff is around my feet. Wait, don’t print that.”

It seems that the South Bay’s recent boil water advisory was not connected to the sewage that has closed beaches and fouled the region for years now. But it was just one more reminder of how shitty it can be to live across the border from Tijuana, and how little the government seems willing or able to do to stop the flow of human sewage from our neighbor to the south. Following the recent rains from Tropical Storm Hilary, the International Boundary Water Commission said that more than two billion gallons of contaminated water flowed across the border during and after the storm. Imperial Beach mayor Paloma Aguirre has implored both Governor Gavin Newsom and the Biden Admistration to take action. Unfortunately, both the governor’s office and the President’s were quick to remind Aguirre that she lived in California, a state that was going to vote blue even if the ocean turned brown, and so her city was simply not a priority during an election cycle.