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Heymatt:
In every place I have lived, throw rugs on top of carpeting have migrated in one direction. They move quite quickly. Even a six-by-nine-foot with furniture on it will migrate. I always assumed that foot traffic was the energy source, but even rugs that are not walked on much will move. Since all the rugs in the house move in the same direction, I thought it might be due to the weave/cut of the underlying carpet. However, I recently put a rubber mat in my kitchen and it migrates too, in the same direction. In my current apartment, the migration is to the west, which would be consistent with the Earth’s rotation. Is that the cause?
— Bill, Spring Valley

I don’t fully understand how the Coriolis Effect works, but I know it has nothing to do with your rugs creeping across the floor. The reason that happens is that rugs are devious, hateful, mischievous creatures sent by Cthulhu to torture us into submission in preparation for the coming end times. What better place to undermine the world than from beneath our very feet? We only think we’re powerful and in charge. Sure, “science” tells us that rugs move around because the compressibility of the materials causes a sort of hopping effect (particularly when they are sitting on top of carpeting), that they make microscopic jumps every time someone walks across them, but we know better, don’t we?

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