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“But then you never would have known the side effects of elephantiasis,” I said, peering over his shoulder. I made a mental note to search for pictures of elephantiasis.

Kimberly smirked at her husband Shawn, who, if his silence was any indication, had chosen to go Swiss on the issue. “I called it, didn’t I?” she said to me.

“Oh, yeah,” I responded. “You done good, girl.”

David threw his hands up in exasperation and reached for his drink. “Just don’t read any more of it to me,” he said. But his request must not have registered because within moments I was pointing out the horrors of cholera and thanking my lucky stars that I have access to clean water.

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Robert Hagen March 11, 2010 @ 2 p.m.

Well, this is just a very, very disturbing piece:|

But it does apply to us, after all. Speaking of elephantiasis, I think the dream sequence in 'The Elephant Man' is very realistic and evocative.. Yet I was saddened that Robert Downey Jr. was snubbed again by the Academy, after his deft, captivating portrayal of Sherlock Holmes. Pistol Pete's Foghorn Leghorn was a shoe in.

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antigeekess March 11, 2010 @ 10:50 p.m.

sigh Timing is everything. Can't believe I just wasted this link on another, far less appropriate blog.

http://www.odditycentral.com/pics/100-year-old-chinese-woman-grows-horn-in-her-forehead.html

GOD (inhaling & holding): "Let's see...I haven't done anything really effed up lately..."

waps horn on old woman's head and passes out laughing

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Barbarella Fokos March 12, 2010 @ 9:20 a.m.

Yup, anti, been there, seen that horn. ;) And too many others to count, all in the name of "research," I swear.

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a2zresource March 12, 2010 @ 10:36 a.m.

"The internet makes it so easy to satisfy my morbid curiosity."

It's amazing how much student research in college gets done at times when the campus library has been closed for hours.

Favorite site for planning runs to the nearest academic library: http://worldcat.org

For decompression after seeing images that evoke declarations of deific re-birth (recommended finals prep for all physiology/pre-nursing students): http://www.worldcat.org/title/review-of-medical-physiology/oclc/57638577

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Joe Poutous March 12, 2010 @ 10:58 a.m.

Barb... Your story reminded me of the Tom Wait's song "Table Top Joe"

  • Joe
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karmiclife March 12, 2010 @ 4:23 p.m.

Hey barbarella This was the book of choice for my last road trip to the Grand Canyon. I read it out load to all of my pals to keep us all awake and engaged for the drive. Good times. http://www.amazon.com/Over-Edge-Death-Grand-Canyon/dp/097009731X

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SDaniels March 12, 2010 @ 7:35 p.m.

re:#4: Totally agree about Worldcat--it's the best. The physiology textbook? Uh, not so much. I'd rather read medical histories by Roy Porter than a textbook on physiology.

I do NOT believe in that horn!

Joe's book looks fun. Is it all stories of just people falling or jumping, though?

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MsGrant March 14, 2010 @ 12:41 p.m.

I just saw an ad for a more palatable oddity - an unlikely food pairing that made me think of you and also want to RUN to this place as quickly as possible and get one myself - it was for a cupcake place, and, get this - for an organic, dark-chocolate, Cabernet cupcake with a sweet and savory brie cheese frosting topped with caramelized walnuts. Doesn't that sound divine?

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antigeekess March 14, 2010 @ 12:48 p.m.

Holy smack! That sounds like crack!

Seems folks are always trying to get that chocolate and red wine thingy going together. I have this in my fridge right now:

http://www.vineyardfs.com/files/u1/Chocovine.jpg

Bought it at Cost Plus, if you'd like to pick some up.

:)

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MsGrant March 14, 2010 @ 5:02 p.m.

Doesn't it? I must have one and soon.

When I clicked on the link I literally gasped. Yes, I will get some of that delicious-sounding bev to serve with dessert. Thanks for the tip, Anti!

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antigeekess March 14, 2010 @ 5:14 p.m.

Heehee. It's a bit like a Mudslide. Depending on how your palate is set, it can come off a bit mediciney, or rather nice. Serve it chilled, for sure.

:)

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MsGrant March 14, 2010 @ 5:39 p.m.

My palate loves everything. Right now I am munching on wasabi peas and drinking a nice Shiraz - two great tastes that go great together!

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antigeekess March 14, 2010 @ 5:51 p.m.

Icky-poo. Wasabi is foul, no matter how it's ingested.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z91Tj6yiblQ

(Um, stop this before about :45.)

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MsGrant March 14, 2010 @ 6 p.m.

Gnarly!! I didn't stop at :45 (how could I with that disclaimer) and laughed my ass off!! Not only a strong palate, but a strong stomach to boot.

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antigeekess March 14, 2010 @ 6:09 p.m.

At least we're back to something on-topic for the title of this blog. :)

Okay, try this on: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68Wc5-...

MmmmMMMMM!!!!!

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MsGrant March 14, 2010 @ 6:17 p.m.

Almost got a gag at the end there!! Here's one for you:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/186500/the_worlds_grossest_foods.html?cat=22

Don't worry - nothing to do with cats.

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antigeekess March 14, 2010 @ 6:27 p.m.

Oh, yeah. I heard about that Balut (fertilized duck egg) before. I think Zimmern ate one. In fact...

http://www.travelchannel.com/TV_Shows/Bizarre_Foods/Episodes_Travel_Guides/Episode_Philippines

Yup, he ate it in the Philippines. This episode re-airs this Wednesday, the 17th. Happy St. Paddy's Day! Have some BALUT!

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MsGrant March 14, 2010 @ 6:37 p.m.

Corned Balut and cabbage, anyone? Mmm, mmm!!

Coincidentally, we are watching Man vs Food on the Food Network. I really want Adam's job. Why do these guys always get the BEST gigs??! Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives? Please!! Hire me!!

Disclaimer: I could not do the job based on my vegetarianism. But, damn, I could do I a vegetarian junk-food show!!

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MsGrant March 14, 2010 @ 6:39 p.m.

"I could do I a vegetarian"?!? Better lay off the Shiraz. Sorry about the sloppy posting.

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antigeekess March 14, 2010 @ 6:49 p.m.

Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives? Oh, My!!!

Great title for a column, Grant. Get to it. :)

Oh, and I'm sure your Shiraz isn't kicking your butt any more than this vodka's kicking mine. I'm on my third "Pink Cloud."

:D

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MsGrant March 14, 2010 @ 7:30 p.m.

It's already been done, Anti!! Guy Fieri is the host -

http://www.foodnetwork.com/diners-drive-ins-and-dives/index.html

It's a television show - a paying gig!! Lucky dawg.

What's a "Pink Cloud"? Sounds good.

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David Dodd March 14, 2010 @ 9:23 p.m.

I looked it up and got this:

http://www.mimoa.eu/blog/wp-content/wolk.jpg

Then I decided to add the fact that it's a drink and got an interesting combination of vodka, piña colada mix, creme de almond, and 7-up. I prefer my liquor straight and unmixed, but that pink cloud is an interesting looking concoction.

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antigeekess March 14, 2010 @ 9:48 p.m.

Re #24 & 25: Oooooooohh! That Guy's got TWO shows right now?

http://www.nbc.com/minute-to-win-it/ Premiered tonight. Why is HE the It Boy of the moment?

For me, a Pink Cloud (which as far as I knew, I made up) is considerably less elaborate. Just vodka and pink lemonade. Your version sounds pretty darn good too, refried, as does this one:

http://www.drinkswap.com/texas-pink-cloud.htm

The TEXAS Pink Cloud. How appropriate.

:)

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SDaniels March 14, 2010 @ 10:47 p.m.

re: #15: AG, wasabi is like crack to a lot of peeps, incl. me. When you dab it on your second-rate sushi (for first rate sushi CANNOT be eaten with wasabi), it sends a rush starting with your nostrils, right through the top of your head, and all through your body.

I imagine it is a bit like salvia :)

re:#21: I would watch that show, Grant! I would also die for that cupcake in #10. SWOON

re:#26: AG, I will make you that Texas Pink Cloud when you come, if you like. Hey, I'll make 'em for you and Grant--and refried, if he can make it to the 'party.'

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SDaniels March 14, 2010 @ 10:56 p.m.

re:#26: Guy Fieri is a blowhard. I have it on reliable word from someone who met him personally, though it only confirms what I already suspected of him. He has this "Kool dude, oh that's so money, blah blah blah" attitude on camera, but off camera he is a joik.

And seriously, what demographic wants to see a cooking show guy with contrast-dyed roots and tips and a santa jelly belly, and preteen shorts & socks combos?

I cried when he won the contest over the gay African-American pastry guy with the sweet Southern accent...

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David Dodd March 14, 2010 @ 11:24 p.m.

I'll take the liquor straight-up, thanks, I don't mix that stuff, but accept the invitation. AG needs to bring along the latest from "The Mighty Throbbing Pillars of Gospel Joy", because that's my favorite group now. And I dig wasabi more than sushi.

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MsGrant March 15, 2010 @ 8:30 a.m.

Mmmm. Juiced lemonade. My kinda drink. Although I am with refried - I like my vodka either straight or mixed with plain soda water with a squeeze.

Well, Guy Fieri is in danger of a common show-business pitfall - the dreaded over-exposure. His new show looks dumb. Remember when Emeril Lagasse tried to have a prime-time show on one of the big three? KA-BOMB.

Sorry to hear he is a douche-bag in real life. "That's so money" is like, so 1995. Swingers, anyone?

Anti, you don't like wasabi? I love it, but I stop at snorting it.

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Robert Hagen March 15, 2010 @ 6:53 p.m.

Yeah, wasabi is good for you. I think.

I love spicy food and capsiacin (whats in hot chili peppers) is supposed to be good for you.

You know, back in the day, we used to mix tequila with Squirt soda.

The thing about tequila is to eat before you drink or it'll burn a hole in your gut.

I stick to beer because I'm an addictive personality. Its my drug of choice. And before I drink a mixer, I'll smoke some bud, and swig some beer. Refried knows what I'm talking about. tommy Chong baby, earth medicine. This is my life...........

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MsGrant March 15, 2010 @ 7:26 p.m.

It is good for you. It makes you release endorphins to ease the pain. That's why after you eat something really hot, you at first gasp and your eyes water and then....ahhhh.

Tequila is poison to me. I cannot drink it straight. It affects me entirely different than any other alcohol. I do not know what it is. I can drink three martinis and still be fine. Three shots of tequila and I am sloppy.

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antigeekess March 15, 2010 @ 8:02 p.m.

Re #27: I'll look forward to that Texas Pink Cloud, Daniels.

Re #29: The only thing I like straight is Maker's Mark. :)

Re #33: Tequila = TaKillYa, Grant. Anything with a worm in it belongs on Fear Factor.

Refried, ever tried Mescal? I always thought it had mescaline in it, but I guess not...

Bummer. Life is so annoyingly full of these little disappointments. :(

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David Dodd March 15, 2010 @ 9:42 p.m.

Oh, yeah, I've had my share of Mescal, AG. I've had plenty of Pulque, too, nasty stuff that'll introduce you to the Aztec Gods of old. I'd never heard of either before I came here. Scotch is my drink of choice, but Tequila is inexpensive and plentiful here.

And Ms. Grant, I used to be a tequila intolerant BASTARD when I was between wives. I'll write about that in depth some time. I can drink it fine now that I've become accustomed to it. And I think I've related my perfect martini before. Introduce the gin to the Vermouth from a safe distance of three feet. Pour the gin over cracked ice.

Diego, some here like tequila with Fresca (another Toranja soft drink). I'm one of them but I don't mix them together. I slowly sip on the tequila and drink the Fresca when I get thirsty ;) But like youself, beer is my only staple. I don't even smoke the loco weed anymore (although I completely support its legality), I lost too much time when I was stoned. But it was (and is) a great, self-medicating device.

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MsGrant March 16, 2010 @ 7:43 a.m.

That's priceless! I too utilize a similar recipe, only with vodka. I'll bet you have some great stories to tell about your hard-drinkin' days, refried. I love drinking tales. Brings the honesty out in those who've come to terms with alcohol and our relationships with it. Once you accept it as your friend and not your doctor, you can have a beautiful life together.

I'm ashamed to admit that in the past my relationship with tequila was through a shot-glass, hence the spinning head after an hour or two. It was alway "hey, let's do some shots!!". Famous last words. I have since been introduced to some fine sipping tequilas, grown-up style, but I still don't trust the stuff!

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antigeekess March 16, 2010 @ 9:41 a.m.

Vodka makes everything better.

Kinda like bacon.

:)

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Robert Hagen March 16, 2010 @ 11:38 a.m.

Refried, we used 'Quitased'which tastes exactly like Squirt. Fresca toronja tastes different.

Some people just can't drink Tequila because the taste makes them gack.

When I drank liquor, I liked Jack Daniels, but in my future I see wine as a drink of choice.

Ms Grant is spot on when it comes to alcohol loosening the tongue and dropping inhibitions. It also helps for coping. Think of the Russians in the old USSR. I'd definitely want to do shots of vodka.

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David Dodd March 16, 2010 @ 12:48 p.m.

"Quitased", awesome name! (Verb, quitar: to remove - object, sed: thirst! Anatomy of product in Spanish!)

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MsGrant March 16, 2010 @ 6:21 p.m.

Vodka. It's what's for breakfast.

I'm afraid to click on that link.

Refried, tell us a story about when you where a tequila intolerant between wives BASTARD. You have my curiosity more than piqued.

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David Dodd March 16, 2010 @ 7:04 p.m.

If you knew me now, we met someday in person, I can't imagine being described any other way than non-aggressive. I handle my liquor resonably well these days and don't go out looking for fights or confrontations. If I'm confronted, I'll fight back, but I'd rather sit and talk about it, even argue about it, but physical confrontation has never been high on my list of a good way to settle a disagreement.

I'll presume that S.D. and Magics picked up on that when we met, maybe they'll vouch. I'm about 6' 2" and roughly 170 pounds. Not overly intimidating. I'm sure that I've avoided being a random target simply because of my height.

But it wasn't always that way. When I split from my ex, I was a wreck. I weighed 126 pounds. That marriage would've destroyed me, eventually. And I didn't drink the entire time I was married to her, no drugs, just worked my butt off, literally, supporting my family and my cheating wife.

The next day after I left, I decided to change myself. I joined a gym and worked out every day, nothing but free-weights, and to put weight on I drank a gallon a day of that weight-gain stuff. I had quit smoking. In three months I was up to 190 lbs, and it was solid muscle. I didn't look too bad back then, either, no facial hair. But I rather enjoyed wearing tank tops around, the women noticed and it felt pretty good for a change.

So, my brother can be a prick. But he's my brother (he's pretty well reformed now, and living back East). My brother is 5' 8" and 130 lbs., and he has a mouth. He loved to drink, loved to talk crap, that type. Since I was now seperated with a divorce that was certain, he decided to talk me into going out with him once in a while. And I could keep him in line if he ran his mouth.

Except he got into this habit. He would go drinking almost every night, and since I only went with him once every week or two, I had no idea what he was up to in those places. He'd suggest some 'really great place' he knew. With me accompanying him, everyone he'd made enemies with ignored him, I wouldn't know any different.

Until he began buying me tequila shots. And once I'd had more than a few, he would do one of two things: Either pick a fight with one of them or tell me that one of them threatened to kick my butt. It was over, I wasn't rational enough to figure out that he was playing me. One particular night I got tossed out of three different bars with the little bastard. Another time I cleared a pool table waiting list, took a cue out of someone's hand, and busted it over my knee. It took about five or six shots, and I was ready to fight anyone for any stupid reason.

It took me a few months to figure out that tequila made me an idiot. It wasn't long after that I got into a car wreck (sober) and couldn't lift a weight for months. By that time, I lost interest in weights for a variety of reasons and the muscle went away. And, I didn't drink tequila for a long time.

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MsGrant March 16, 2010 @ 7:27 p.m.

Whew!! Though not sure who the bastard is in this story. 126 pounds?!?! I don't weigh 126!! Why did you stay with someone who reduced you to such wreckage?

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David Dodd March 16, 2010 @ 7:37 p.m.

I didn't know any better. There were kids. I'd work for 16 hours a day and come home and put in a couple of more, in denial I suppose. And she's a piece of work, but I'm the dummy that originally knocked her up, so I take responsibility for that.

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MsGrant March 16, 2010 @ 7:45 p.m.

You must have been young. Something about our generation and age group took a lot of responsibility when it came to family. Many of my high-school friends had kids right out of school. They stayed together for much longer than I would have ever given them credit for. Today? All divorced. But not before giving it everything they had. And it always seemed like there was one person who was giving it all and one who was taking it.

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