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“We could play games,” Mom persisted. “It would be fun and relaxing.”

“Listen, I love spending time with you guys, which I get to do often,” I said. “But if I’m going to skip town, you can bet money that my agenda will include me, David, a nice meal, a bottle of wine, a giant bubble bath, and not much else. Kids are right out.”

Mom laughed. I imagined my bluntness was as refreshing for her to hear as it was for me to say. “Well,” she said, with a smile in her voice, “you can’t blame me for trying.”

“Not at all,” I said. “And Mom? Thanks for not blaming me for saying.”

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Comments

bohemianopus Nov. 18, 2009 @ 2:10 p.m.

The "Jersey Girls" would like to welcome you into our club. We all "tell it like it is."

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SDaniels Nov. 18, 2009 @ 7:47 p.m.

Fumbler, YOU dropped "it" on that one ;)

"An interesting side effect of my frankness is that the more honest I am, the more connected and the less neurotic I feel."

So true. Otherwise, we end up sounding [and perhaps looking] like babbling, Woody Allenesque freaks. I think this frankness is a natural part of maturation, and seems to come in one's mid to late thirties, as one becomes more comfortable in oneself.

I also love the point about extending trust to others through honesty. The only caveat I can think of is that for some people this virtue ends up being manipulated as a way to escape obligations that are still important, such as 'I'd rather have a glass of wine and relax in the jacuzzi,' rather than drive to see my mother in the hospital,' for example. I knew someone who did this, but rather than tell a lie, she just said, "Well, I'll drive up when it's time for a shift change, and the rest of you are ready to go home." This worked, but it still felt like a manipulation, knowing her true feelings. I felt like she should still be thinking more of her mother. It's tough, because there are still moral dilemnas to deal with, even though we've found a more honest, and sometimes refreshing way to communicate.

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SurfPuppy619 Nov. 18, 2009 @ 8:30 p.m.

Fumbler, YOU dropped "it" on that one ;)

Fumbler would drop his empty air head it it were not attached.

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Barbarella Fokos Nov. 18, 2009 @ 8:36 p.m.

SDaniels, thank you yet again for your insightful words. :)

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Robert Hagen Nov. 21, 2009 @ 8:12 p.m.

Well, I mean at some point you have to assert your preferenes. But anyway....

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