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I figured it was a George Bush thing, his idea of public service. No matter how sordid your disgrace is, how incompetent you are, no matter what your crime may be, or how completely you betrayed your wife, kids, friends...nobody resigns.

But, I was wrong to attribute this phenomenon to George Bush, and if I run into Donald Rumsfield, Alberto Gonzalez, Paul Wolfiwitaz, Richard Perle, General Richard Myers, Douglas Feith (now known to history, thanks to Iraq invasion commander Tommy Franks, as “the dumbest motherfucker in the world”), General Ricardo Sanchez, Michael Chertoff, John Yoo, George Tenet, or Senator Larry Craig, I’ll say, “I was wrong fellas.” Refusal to resign when guilty is bigger than George Bush.

How big? Say hello to Max Mosley. You must have heard about Max by now, if not, hurry over to the Perv Classics section on YouTube.

To recap quickly: News of the World, a London tabloid, reported that Max Mosley, 68, president of the Fédération Internationale de l’Automobile (FIA), the world governing body of, as FIA likes to say, motorsport, paid for a five-hour bondage orgy with, count ’em, five hookers. Everyone played dress-up, hookers in concentration camp outfits and Nazi uniforms, Mosley either in the buff or costume. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, “Print is so 20th Century.” And you’re right, of course. Lucky for us Mosley videotaped his orgy and that tape, through the magic of human greed, was on the Internet and available to the world mucho presto.

In the old consciousness, one would think Formula 1, professional racing’s most prestigious circuit, would not want its institutional face to be Max Mosley humping whores, whipping whores, or being whipped by whores dressed in Nazi gear. One would think, “Yeah, that should do it. So long, Max.”

Wrong. That’s 20th-century thinking, people.

Instead of resigning, Max filed a lawsuit against News of the World, claiming invasion of privacy (not libel), and told the press, “It goes without saying that the so-called Nazi element is pure fabrication.... I believe that 21st-century adults do not worry about private sexual matters as long as they are legal and harmless.”

One of the prostitutes told News of the World that Mosley hired her and others to play Nazi guards. Who are you going to believe, a prostitute, the man who hired her, or the slimy News of the World (happily holding five hours of Mosley orgy on video tape)? The tabloid broke the story, here’s a quote from their first article. “[Mosley says], ‘She needs more of ze punishment!’ while brandishing a LEATHER STRAP over a brunette’s naked bottom. Then the lashes rain down as Mosley counts them out in German: “Eins! Zwei! Drei! Vier! Fünf! Sechs!... Before hammering away at the girls, he plays a cowering death camp inmate himself, having his GENITALS inspected and his hair searched for LICE....”

Max has a special personal history; in fact, he has a direct connection to Adolf Hitler. You don’t see that any more.

His parents, Sir Oswald Mosley and Diana Mitford Guiness, were married in Berlin, 1936. It was a warm, dignified ceremony held in the home of Joseph Goebbels with the Führer attending as guest of honor. Sir Oswald was head of the British Union of Fascists at the time and, as sweethearts often do, he and his bride decided to be married in the place that meant the most to them.

To show how deep class solidarity in Britain was/is, although the Mosleys were interred during WWII (until 1943), they came out of it with their property, money, and titles intact. Winston Churchill, who knew them socially, saw to it that Lady Mosley had frequent visits with her children, including adorable Max.

Young Max grew up in an atmosphere of unconditional love and racial purity. The family bought homes in Ireland and France, yachted around the Mediterranean, did some of this, some of that. Max attended German schools for a couple years, graduated from Oxford with a physics degree, studied law, made barrister. He was into racing by the mid-’60s, driving, then moved over to the building, managing, selling side of it. I’ll skip the FOCA/FISA/FIA struggle for power because it’s refrigerator-manual boring.

FIA will hold an extraordinary general assembly on June 3 to consider Mosley’s fate. There are 222 motoring organizations in 132 countries. So far, I have found one, the Canadian Automobile Association, who has flat out called for Mosley to resign.

The orgy was March 3 and is already hazy in the hive’s mind. The convocation’s vote will be by secret ballot, a huge plus for Mosley. You have to like his chances.

But, before I put money down, I want to know, what would George Bush do?

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