They've risen from the sewers and they're back on TV, the walking undead from O.J.'s 1995 murder trial. And they're still hungry, still greedy, still needy for fame.
Marcia Clark, the incompetent lead prosecutor in O.J.'s murder trial, scuttled into Las Vegas to report on Simpson and see if there was any money left on the floor. She cashed a $4.2 million check for her ghostwritten -- pardon me -- for her O.J. trial book co-authored by Teresa Carpenter. Today, she is a special correspondent for Entertainment Tonight and The Insider, dyed blond hair and all. The woman has found her true calling.
Former L.A. cop Mark Fuhrman is back. He revealed himself to be a racist and a perjurer during the O. J. Kills in L.A. TV spectacular. More than anything else, it was his testimony that caused Simpson to be acquitted. Fuhrman has prospered in O.J. afterlife. He wrote his O.J. trial book, Murder in Brentwood, and it was a bestseller. Since then, he's written five books, makes regular TV appearances, has his own radio show, and graduated from being a cable news expert on O.J. to a cable news (Fox) expert on crime.
The two lead LAPD investigators, Tom Lange and Philip Vannatter, sold out for beer money. They split $115,000 between themselves and ghostwriter Dan Moldea. Their narrative epic, Evidence Dismissed: The Inside Story of the Police Investigation of O. J. Simpson, was on the New York Times Best-Seller List for five weeks.
According to a CNN transcript of a June 2004 Larry King Live broadcast, "Tom Lange retired from the L.A. Police Department in '96. He's now a licensed private investigator. And Phil Vannatter retired from the L.A. Police Department in '96 and now is chief deputy for Dearborn County, Indiana."
For those with a need to know, the county seat of Dearborn is Lawrenceburg, and the sheriff department's address is 301 High Street. Stop by and say hi the next time you're in town.
O.J. Kills in L.A. created a new phylum of parasites. Although he had a real life before O.J. (director, movie-studio vice president, author) Dominick Dunne became famous by way of O.J. He was a regular on Larry King Live during the trial, scored a TV show afterward (Dominick Dunne's Power, Privilege, and Justice) on the ever-willing Court TV network.
I saw him on a Dan Abrams MSNBC special the day O.J. was charged in Vegas. He told Abrams, "I love the Goldman family, and I love seeing Kim (Goldman) on television now."
Dan Abrams, hard-bitten journalist that he is, replies, "I love them too." During the O.J. murder trial, Abrams was a reporter for Court TV. He scored a job off O.J. with NBC News, then a TV show with MSNBC (The Abrams Report), and then, in June 2006, was appointed general manager of MSNBC.
Christopher Darden, Marcia's co-prosecutor, fled the D.A's. office right after the trial like everybody else, taught law at California State University, Los Angeles, later started Darden & Associates, Inc. His cash-in trial book, In Contempt, was written with Jess Walter. He's written three novels since then, all co-written by Dick Lochte.
Lance Ito is still a Los Angeles Superior Court judge and, apparently, has learned how to keep his mouth shut.
Johnnie Cochran. The only person, with the exceptions of Barry Scheck and Peter Neufeld, who emerged from the trial with his reputation enhanced. He died in 2005.
Kato Kaelin made a decent life out of O.J. He's appeared in 15 movies and TV shows since the trial. His body of work includes Celebrity Boot Camp, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Strip Poker, and Dorm Daze 2. Currently co-host of Eye for an Eye, a syndicated television show. Of all the trial groupies, he alone was able to cash in to the full extent of his talents without coming off as a bloodsucker.
O.J. received visits from five lawyers while in Vegas lockup -- two public defenders and three for-hire attorneys. Unhappily for these players and for thousands of wannabe players -- indeed, the entire infotainment industry -- there won't be O.J. II. The story has faded already. The principals are seedy felons. We've learned that the sports-memorabilia business makes commercial pornography look legitimate. O.J.'s friends include a pimp, a four-time convicted felon, a stalker, and these are the good guys. Vegas cops overcharged Simpson and then the D.A. added on, making the grand total come out to ten felony counts and one gross misdemeanor.
Yet, O.J.'s attorney praised the Las Vegas D.A. for his professionalism and courtesy. O.J.'s bail was set at a reasonable level despite being charged with the destruction of western civilization. Is there a clue in here?
O.J. will plea bargain to something that requires no jail time. There won't be a trial. O.J. bloodsuckers will have to wait a little longer.