"I love to watch those," said my friend Jen over dim sum, after I'd made a comment about the slippery shrimp shumai being a prime food item for the next eating contest. "It's so hilarious to me. Here you have these freaking foul humans shoving stuff in their faces -- it's like slowing down for an accident; it's something you shouldn't enjoy watching so much. To me, these eating contests are what replaced the freak shows. It's so foul, it's rad." I mentioned that the latest record breaker was dubbed an "American hero." Jen laughed and said, "They must have meant the sandwich."