• Story alerts
  • Letter to Editor
  • Pin it

Wednesday, May 23 Access Hollywood NBC 6:30 p.m. Cobra Command. Fuel my dune buggy. We're taking Access Hollywood . TONIGHT! If I can breach the outer compound wall, I'll have one shot at bringing the signal down. I'll need a grappling hook and I'll have Matilda, my trusty six-shooter, on my hip. There's no way to interrupt the broadcast without losing an eye. I wouldn't ask any of my men to do it for me. I'll look good in a patch.

Thursday, May 24 Being Bobby Brown Bravo 6:00 p.m. After this week, we say no more. No more Paris Hilton worship. No more millionaire felons on the playing field. No more talentless crack heads in throngs of paparazzi. The corpse of Eisenhower will travel in a bulletproof glass van and look out onto the suburbs of contented row homes. It'll be tough to give up your narcotic fix of Hollywood entertainment. Your children will thank me. YOUR CHILDREN WILL THANK ME FOR FORCING YOU TO SAY "NO MORE!"

  • Story alerts
  • Letter to Editor
  • Pin it

More from SDReader

More from the web

Comments

Sign in to comment

Join our
newsletter list

Enter to win $25 at Broken Yolk Cafe

Each newsletter subscription
means another chance to win!

Close