San Diego Reader

Wednesday, March 7 Pussycat Dolls Present:The Search for the Next Doll WB 9:00 p.m. I feel like a wounded combat soldier. I want the team to triumph in victory, and I know I'll be dragging the platoon down because I have no legs. I lay here, blood mingling with tears on my cheek. I can only say, "Finish me. Finish me, Sarge. Make it quick. Make the hurting stop." And out of compassion he sticks two more morphine shots in my leg. "The suffering'll be over soon, son. The suffering'll be over soon."

Thursday, March 8 Dr. Christiane Northrup: Menopause and Beyond -- New Wisdom for Women PBS 8:00 p.m. You can't see me, but I've collapsed to the floor. I've pulled my computer down, and I'm pecking this out with the last finger I can still move. I can't bear it. I can't bear the thought of it. It's too much. PBS. Old women. Talking about menopause. Maybe, if I gouge my eyes out now, I can end this horrific image in my mind. Excuse me. I'll end this article politely. I have to crawl to the kitchen for my corkscrews and grapefruit spoons.

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