Monday, February 26
Gang of Roses (2003)
BET 8:00 p.m.
Somehow, Macy Gray and Bobby Brown are involved with the dealings of a female gang. Although there's no predicting the future, I'm pretty certain I won't look back from my deathbed to February 26, 2007 as the day I missed this movie, aired with commercials, on the Black Entertainment Network. You never know for sure. But I'm confident.
Tuesday, February 27
Bizarre Foods With Andrew Zimmern
Travel 7:00 p.m.
I'm going to pitch a helpful, how-to show to the Travel Channel. It's called "Scoring Drugs with Anthony Olivieri." Even though I've been poisoned twice in the Orient, I've also had some pretty good E and coke in my mitts when I was in Europe. Drop me in any city in the world, and I'll be high within the hour. Bring the cameras along. It'll be fun. You know, for college kids who are "trying to find themselves" and a little sip of GHB in Spain. That sort of thing.
Wednesday, February 28
Real World XVIII Catch-Up Special
MTV 9:00 p.m.
Finally. I've been waiting so long. I really want to know how DJ, Justin, Josh, Amber, Nicole, and Tiffany are doing. I mean, they were the Real World XVIII cast. How could I not be riveted...stunned by their every move? It's not often that one encounters this caliber of performance, and I've been dying to hear how they're doing. Or. Hmmm. I think I'll do my dishes that night instead.
Thursday, march 1
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
Fox 9:00 p.m.
I don't need to be. I can kick his ass.