Charter school to expand into Escondido’s East Valley Community Center
Michael Mullenniex 1:43 p.m., May 25
"Oh," he said. "Oh. I see." After an awkward moment of silence, he said, "So I'll see you tomorrow at the barbecue, then." I said yes and ended the call, deliberately omitting a civil, "Enjoy your dinner."
When resolving sibling rivalries, my mother's favorite tactic was to ask, "How would you feel if you were in your sister's shoes?" If I complained about a classmate, she would pose the same question. Until every interaction we had was infused with hypersensitivity, a perceptive awareness of how the other person may have felt. The small voice in my head, sewn into my mind with the diligence of Mom's persistent needle, is always asking, "How would I feel if someone said to me what I just said?" or, the harder to control, "How would I feel if someone said to me what this guy just said to that girl?"
Throughout the third course, the artist spoke with David, and I occasionally looked up from my banana wonton to offer an obligatory, blank smile. I had not exchanged two words with this man who had openly behaved like an ungracious dick. I did not need to. I knew all I needed to know. No amount of niceties from him could ever erase from my mind the moment in which I had placed myself in that waiter's shoes and felt humiliated, indignant, and angry. Three unnecessary, painful, unproductive feelings, all because of a glass of wine, an accident, and an asshole.
Comments
Ponzi Sept. 12, 2011 @ 8:36 a.m.
I feel the same way about people who treat wait staff rudely. Even when service is average, it pains me to leave less than a 20% tip. Dealing with the public is one of the hardest jobs for the lowest pay. I always thank those who work on holidays and late hours because they are sacrificing their time to serve others. If all people honored the Golden Rule, the world would be an amazing place to live.
Facebook Sept. 13, 2011 @ 9:52 a.m.
Bob L.: I feel same way. I have worked in the service industry, and can tell you that one has to be able to recognize the type of individual that will take out all their personal problems on their wait staff. Once recognized, that individual receives treatment curtailed to the way they are behaving... if you take my meaning. Would like to say that it's nice to see someone in the same party as this type individual that catches the eye with an apologetic smile or glance. It makes a difference.
Facebook Sept. 13, 2011 @ 9:52 a.m.
Kim F.: I have never understood being rude to someone who is bringing you food. Food that is prepared in areas you can't see. Besides the humanity aspect of being an ass to someone simply doing their job, it would seem you are messing with them at your own peril.
efren castillo Oct. 29, 2011 @ 9:13 a.m.
People who are rude towards wait staff for no reason or are very demanding yet tip very little are themselves a small person at heart.
E.C.
jurjis Nov. 12, 2011 @ 10:46 a.m.
A small person, indeed. Most of my adult life has been spent in either customer service (waitress, barkeep, sales associate) or community service (military, teacher, lifeguard) and I have to say this little man is the exception, not the rule. His rude attempts to make himself look grandiose fell flat into his lap.
Twister Nov. 12, 2011 @ 2:02 p.m.
A friend of mine was a chef at a well-known Palm Springs Hotel.
Some idiot made a huge fuss about a steak being "still mooing," etc.
The chefs overheard (how could they not?). As the plate came through the passthrough, the chef who took it tilted it backwards a bit too much (just enough to slip off). The steak was sent back "properly cooked."
I NEVER send food back, nor to I EVER make a fuss and then eat there. On the rare occasion when a waiter is a jerk, I quietly leave, but I never eat at that place as long as said waiter is present.
I ALWAYS treat those who have power over my well-being very well. Another friend has a neat way of dealing with jerks; she simply asks "What can I do for you?" or "What do you want?"
Jerks try to bait others into misbehaving so that they can put the blame for bad conduct elsewhere. When you don't take the bait, they are always VERY disappointed.
soozSD Dec. 6, 2011 @ 5:20 p.m.
Unfortunately, my mother was a waiter stomper. She was rude, condescending and embarrassing. It was horrible to eat lunch out. Everything was either sent back or complained about. My grandmother told me of the first time she met my mom; they went out to eat and my mom was so cruel to the waiter that my grandmother lost her appetite. Of course, my mom was also verbally abusive to us kids at home too, so this wasn't out of character. I distinctly remember looking into the eyes of one server and wished I could have crawled under the nearest rock. Some people are just miserable no matter what.
Barbarella Fokos Dec. 7, 2011 @ 2:27 p.m.
Wow, soozSD, I'm so sorry to hear that, on a lot of levels. Though it seems you aren't carrying on the tradition of rudeness, and that's good. It's unfortunate that miserable people have to make all those around them miserable as well.
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