"Well," Jane explained, "She said, 'I'm really sick, I'm coughing blood,' and I said, 'Fuck you, it's April Fools Day.' But then she kept at it. She said, 'No, really, Jane, I'm coughing blood, I think I need an ambulance. I don't know what to do,' she wouldn't drop it. So, finally, I said, 'Fine, I'll call an ambulance for you right now,' and she said, 'April Fools!' And I was like, 'Yeah, I knew that already.' But for a second, when she kept pushing like that, I wasn't so sure."
My mother is ruthless when it comes to this day of pranksters. We learned from her that you are almost guaranteed to catch a fool if you attack first thing in the morning, before he or she has a chance to process the calendar date. Whereas our pranks typically involve pregnancy, Mom's are based on more violent occurrences, like blood and theft.
"What's that on your face?" she would say to her young daughters as we were pouring milk over our cereal, still blinking sleep from our eyes. "Did you scratch yourself in your sleep, maybe? You've got blood all over you!" It would take someone running to the bathroom to examine herself in the mirror before Mom would call out, "April Fools!" When Jane was 16, Mom barged into her room, shook her awake and said, "Jane! Where's your car? Your car is gone!" Jane had jumped out of her bed and run outside in her pajamas.
I sat on the side of my bed, half listening to Jane telling Bella, "Wait for Mommy," and thinking of who I might be able to fool, if it wasn't too late. Just then, my phone beeped.
"Jane, that's Heather, I'll call you later." I pressed a button to switch to the incoming call and said, "Yo."