Photo by Rick Geary

Burned bones are a common substitute for charcoal, the filter for sugar.

Dear Straight from the Hip: Recently I was in a natural food store and I noticed that they did not sell white sugar. I was informed that “white sugar is filtered through bone, and as we are a vegetarian store, we don’t carry it. ” Can you shed any light on this subject? — R.O., Ocean Beach

Dear Matt: I, a vegetarian, reached across the lunch table to nab one of my friend’s french fries. My other friend, a vegan, piped up, “Hey, did you know there is meat juice in that ketchup? I called the company [Heinz] to see what 'naturalflavors’ were, and they fessed up.” My God, M.A., help us dispel this horrid rumor or stop this spread of flesh infestation! — De’ Veg, Old Town

Why, if the Reagan administration had the foresight to keep a vegan on staff, they could have declared ketchup a meat, not just a vegetable. Yes, there are cow byproducts in ketchup and in tires, soap, Jell-O, crayons, movie and photographic film, marshmallows, bone china, cereals, glues, candy, Vitamin B12, potato chips, medicines, floor wax.... A true, dedicated vegan can hardly leave the house without assaults by dead animals. Insects figure in dyes for makeup and some aperitifs; we clarify wines with fishmeal or egg whites or bones.

Which leads us to our white-sugar question. Late in. the refining process, sugar solution from mashed cane or beets passes through negatively charged carbon. This sucks up the last bits of positively charged color molecules. Burned bones are a common substitute for charcoal. To nose out all the animal kingdom in processed foods, you need to do as your vegan friend did and call each manufacturer. Some use vegetable sources for traditionally animal-derived ingredients. Or write to the American Vegan Society, 501 Old Harding Highway, Malaga, NJ 08328. Or call the Vegetarian Resource Group hotline, 410/366-VEGE (Baltimore). Then bask in the thought of today’s high cholesterol counts as the ultimate revenge of the herds.