Come on, open up. Nothing tells us who you are quiet like what you're willing to haul around with you, and so do so want to know who you are, San Diego. Come on, just …

Matthew: What is the cause of a physical phenomenon in men that I finally confirmed happens to other men besides myself? For lack of the proper term, I’ll call it “piss shivers.” It's when you're …

Matthew Alice: What's so practical about a practical joke? — AV, Hillcrest “Why did the chicken cross the road?” serves no useful purpose. Neither does a whoopee cushion, but because you have to do something …

Dear Matt: Why does my honey crystallize? Even after I nuke it to make it liquid again, the crystals remain. Could you shed some light on this annoying phenomenon? — Sidhe, North Park Blame it …

I am having a hard time sleeping. Tired of tossing and turning on my narrow share of bed, 1 leave my companion to her dreams, take my pillow and a blanket, go into the living …

Do any animals besides humans snore? — A. and Friends, Coronado Well, what cave have you all been hunkered in? The cat and dog families are notorious snorers. Especially pugs and bulldogs and all those …

I dropped a roly-poly in the bucket as though I were an animal trainer at Sea World, and then I made a twiggy ramp that would encourage the captive to show me his delicate, blue-tinged undersides.

“You know, when guys who were in Vietnam came back and got into some...well, some difficulty, everyone said it was the fault of the Vietnam War. But not Korea. Somehow it didn’t work that way.”

To: Matmail: Okay, they may be the state bird of Texas, but mockingbirds are driving me nuts. One has moved into the tree outside my bedroom window, and another is in the backyard, and they …

Dear Matthew Alice: I’ve always wondered why Lindbergh's plane was called the Spirit of St. Louis. It was built by Ryan in San Diego, so why didn’t he call it the Spirit of San Diego? …

Matt: Who invented fuzzy dice? — Dennis, San Diego Same guy that put the ram in the rama-lama ding-dong. Which is to say, who knows? Dice themselves go waaay back. Personkind might have developed written …

Black’s Beach. The “world’s largest nude beach” as it is commonly billed, it may come as something of a surprise to many San Diegans, is officially—legally, technically, formally—a non-nude beach. Clothing is not optional; it …

Dear M.A.:There are some old people who sit around with their mouths hanging open. Though they may be brilliant, this expression does not send that message. Is the cause slack jaw muscles? What can a …

Mattster: Why would anybody waste an expensive steak by putting it on a black eye? Does that really work? If so, how? If not, where did that old idea come from? — Jack, Escondido You’re …

Matthew Alice: There’s a big green jetliner, #N940F, parked near Jimsair (Pacific Highway and Palm) on the east edge of Lindbergh Field. Rumors are circulating. It apparently belongs to Evergreen International. This is the firm …

“Through most of my childhood he was in the grocery business, which meant he wasn’t home a lot. And I left home after high school. So I thought I didn’t have enough to write about.”

June of 1976 departed from meteorological custom and came to life in a string of sunny days that in the final week turned sweltering. No catastrophes clouded thedaily headlines. Developer Ernie Hahn continued to dicker …