"Lonleliness, a constant friend--and lover--I know well." --Aisa, from "One Step Closer."

God only knows why...and He's not talking. When I am looking for love, it seems that Cupid keeps his arrows quivvered and his bow cased when around me. And that, my dears, makes me feel like I get what was coming to me.

Yes, it hurts to be alone...without any recourse to change what is going on. It's not sex that I'm seeking, mind you--that will come when the time-and-conditions are truly zen. What I seek is companionship, caring, and a lot of hugs. I wish I had a little friend here with me, but the bloody property management company seems to have something against pet owners. $300 deposit to keep a pooch, $200 for a kitty--and forget about rabbits, snakes, or rodents.

Some say that going to church might bring you a lover/friend, courtesy of God Himself. Sadly, this really is no longer the case. "You go to church to commune with God...not to find a lover. After all, God is still a jealous God...and in His house, you pay all attention to Him," according to Rev. Montgomery, who was the parish priest at St. Mary's Epicopal Church in Woodburn, Oregon (I spent three years as an acolyte there, from 1977-1979).

How about the local "meeting hole"? Go there, it's potluck time...you never know who--or what--you'll pick up. The fact that alcohol-and-Karaoke are also offerings there...ecce vaecors et amens ("Behold the besotted and brain-dead!" in Imperial Latin)!

How about "The Mighty Internet"? Not as easy as it looks. Even the least expensive dating services run about $30/month (though they do take debit cards). Plus, you really cannot know what the person is truly about. They may have the face of an angel...but the saddest truth is that you risk running into a narcissitic sociopath with mayhem on the mind.

Add to that the fact that I'm normally very awkward about meeting people to begin with. That's what hurts me. Of course, taking a bunch of garbage from a woman whom I thought loved me doesn't exactly do the heart any favors.

Still, I shed bitter tears over what could have been...as in me sucking bitter grass from the root end as I take a dirt nap. This loneliness, however, has gone on for far too long. Though I pray to God for relief, I know that some things, I have to do for myself.

Heck, I'm not a bad catch. I'm a terrific cook, highly intelligent, not too bad looking, very much a cuddle bug with the right person, have a sneaky-yet-dry sense of humor, and have a heart full of love that's there for the taking.

I often say that finding love is like fishing in your favorite lake...just keep at it, for you never need quit until you land one. Change out the lure and/or bait if needed, but keep at it!

Frustrating...but oh, so true!

--LPR

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Comments

CuddleFish March 14, 2010 @ 8:32 p.m.

Awwwww Robbybear, what a sweet thread.

It is awful that you can't at least have a little pet friend -- could be worth paying the deposit to have a dog or a cat. Just saying, without knowing your financial situation.

The other thought, again not knowing what your situation is, have you considered volunteering? Local hospitals, nursing homes, schools, charities. Even community organizations such as planning groups and recreation councils always welcome new members at the meetings. A good way to meet new friends. :)

And of course, we love having your company here. :)

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antigeekess March 14, 2010 @ 11:09 p.m.

"I wish I had a little friend here with me, but the bloody property management company seems to have something against pet owners. $300 deposit to keep a pooch, $200 for a kitty..."

Yup, California property owners sure do hate pets. Heard of "pet rent?" Neither had I, until I came out here. I told them my cat doesn't have a job so she can't pay rent, but they have no sympathy.

"You go to church to commune with God...not to find a lover. After all, God is still a jealous God...and in His house, you pay all attention to Him,"

Too bad all the old horndogs that used to swoop down on me when I'd try to go to church didn't grasp that concept.

"How about the local "meeting hole"? Go there, it's potluck time...you never know who--or what--you'll pick up."

Sure ya do. Clap, herpes, crabs, etc. :)

"How about "The Mighty Internet"? Not as easy as it looks. Even the least expensive dating services run about $30/month (though they do take debit cards)."

Not true, RobbieBear. Behold:

http://www.plentyoffish.com/

http://www.okcupid.com/

:)

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Robert Johnston March 15, 2010 @ 1:47 p.m.

Thanks, AG! I'll check out those websites ASAP. If they are as you say--who knows?

--LPR

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antigeekess March 15, 2010 @ 8:36 p.m.

They're FREE, RobbyBear!!! But just remember, sometimes you get what you pay for.

Or not.

;)

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ahousebythesea March 18, 2010 @ 12:05 a.m.

LPR, Trying to find love......a universal sentiment! Just finished playing my old Irish songs for St. Patrick's Day and remembered your post while playing this one. It is memorable because of the emotion with which it is sung. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oo0p6B...

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David Dodd March 19, 2010 @ 12:40 a.m.

You know, another thing, Robbie, sometimes you just be. You're a church-going man, I take it. Heck, just be as social as you can, your church probably has all sorts of sociable events, attend them. Do what you enjoy doing and live as you enjoy living, and just meet a bunch of people. Friendships automatically develop, and out of friendship sometimes romance is born. And when it doesn't, then think of all of your new friends!

Rarely does it happen when you're expecting it, and rarely does it last if you have expectations.

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SDaniels March 19, 2010 @ 3:45 a.m.

Some sweet imagery there, LPR, and I could totally relate to your dilemna at one point or another in my life.

re: #2:

Ha! There's that site again! www.plentyoffish.com I cracked up so hard the first time I saw that, I nearly fell outta my chair.

"Plenty offish" doesn't exactly recommend itself for dating services, now, does it? ;)

Remember, folks, LPR is looking for LOVE, not just companionship-- something that could develop into a romantic relationship.

Therefore, I opine: Instead of the $200 for a kit kat, I say find the $30/month for a few months on a cheaper dating site--of course, first thoroughly researching its success rates as well as how the best sites work.

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antigeekess March 19, 2010 @ 6:36 a.m.

"Instead of the $200 for a kit kat..."

Hruh? POF is free.

Dude, they're all the same. Trust me. Most of 'em eve have the SAME PEOPLE on them.

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SDaniels March 19, 2010 @ 1:29 p.m.

AG queried:

""Instead of the $200 for a kit kat..."

Hruh? POF is free."

He mentioned $200 for deposit on a cat, AG.

So the sites are all the same? Same people on all the sites? THAT is scary to me...

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Robert Johnston March 27, 2010 @ 2:25 p.m.

So far, as per "Plenty Of Fish"...the thing is that they do have what is called "Premium Servios," and those DO run about $30/month. They also set up the site so that the "Free Membership" folks have very few site priviliges. Kinds stinks, when you look at it. Then again, there is no such thing as "absoluitely free" anything in this day-and-age.

Still, perseverence will, indeed, pay off.

--LPR

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antigeekess March 27, 2010 @ 6:12 p.m.

Re #11: May be a differential between male/female subscribers, Robbie. I've never even noticed a "Premium Service," nor is there anything that's off limits to me, as far as I can tell. I just checked it, & nothing's any different for me than it was back when I tried it.

What are you not able to access?

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Robert Johnston March 27, 2010 @ 7:18 p.m.

In a way, AG--there is a difference. However, if very closely at the "toolbar" near the web-page's header, you will notice that one of the heading has a different tint. Hit here, and you will see what I am talking about.

They all go by different names--but selling "premium service packs" is how some of these dating sites make their money, along with ads for "affiliated" sites. And a lot of times, they will not take a debit card for payment. has to be "bank issued" or "connected to a bank account."

Still, I am putting the "Free-Side" part of "POFITS" to use. I've already checked out four possible matches, and responded to two of them. Let's see what happens next, hmmmm?

--LPR

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antigeekess March 27, 2010 @ 8:41 p.m.

Ah, okay. I found it. There's a button for "Upgrade" in the upper right. You take a little test to make sure you're not a psycho (which I faked my way through quite handily) and then you get this info:

https://www.plentyoffish.com/seriousmember.aspx

First I've ever seen it. I'm not sure that's been available for very long. POF used to brag about being totally free.

Tried OKcupid? http://www.okcupid.com/

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nan shartel March 27, 2010 @ 9:55 p.m.

damn it Robbybear!!!

i'll be paddling that dang Cupid and chastising him for not sending u a "true love"

hang!!!

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SDaniels March 29, 2010 @ 2:11 a.m.

"There's a button for "Upgrade" in the upper right."

Maybe this is how love actually works on this site, too! ;)

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Robert Johnston March 30, 2010 @ 2:02 a.m.

So far...no luck. However, like anything else worthwhile, sometimes the chase is better than the catch. I'll keep you posted on this...it's something that I do feel is important. --LPR

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SDaniels April 7, 2010 @ 6:29 p.m.

I have an idea, LPR: Why not post invites online and in your neighborhood, asking people who live in your hood to meet for coffee on a particular night? It could be a discussion group, with a different topic each time, to be voted on once there is an initial meeting.

The topic should be something that tends to get people talking, but isn't likely to cause political fallout--so no politics, religion, etc--and nothing too sex-related, though gender differences might be interesting to discuss in a light manner.

You can build up a regular group that meets and discusses, and who knows--besides making some good friends, you just might meet a special lady or two?

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