Don Bauder 5:30 p.m., Jan. 17
- Community Blog
- Vista Blues
Some Musings On Our Fast-Food Culture...
"Billions And Billions Served! Only Thousands Actually Digested!" --from the now-defunct comic strip "Shoe"
As I stated before, it's a very rare occurance that I go into a "fast-food" restaurant for a meal. I only will venture in if I have not had any solid food in 12 hours...and my body is threatening hypoglycemic shutdown. Then I will go to Mickey D's, order two double-cheeseburgers from their Dollar menu (plus a Mountain Blast Powerade) to go, then find a bus bench and scarf my snack.
Other than that, I avoid fast-food joints like another bout of MRSA. Besides the social stigma associated with being seen eating such obvious proto-food, my belly isn't too thrilled about digesting the offering in question.
And with good reason.
Besides the fact I can recreate most anything the fast-food industry puts out--only healthier, tastier, and for less cost--at home? I feel that the only things that you get out of your typical fast-food "meal" is: 1. Your NRDA (Non-Reccomended Daily Allowance) of grease, sugar, fat, low-grade meat, and potential food-borne nasties, served in portions big enough to be your only meal that day ; 2. Your wallet cleaned out by the menu's high prices; and 3. The "satisfaction" of listening to a bunch of screaming ankle-biters playing on the store-provided playground equipment (as the store management prays that no lawsuits their way will come!).
Besides, I tend to not eat at places with clowns for shills (CeCe's Pizza, Jack-In-The-Box, Mickey D's). Their very prescence belies the quality of the "food" offered--this turns out to be the bad joke in the equation.
As for In-N-Out? My view (after trying a Double-Double) is simple: "IN Your Gut-N-OUT Your Butt...with very few nutrients left behind!" I make better burgers than THAT!
The various fried-chicken emporiums? They deserve all the flak fired at them by nutrition-and-animal welfare mavens, because they promote themselves as something they are most definitely not! Neither nutritious nor delicious--and the only thing that gets slimmer is your wallet/debit card...as well as their reputations.
Carl's Jr/Sonic/Wendy's? I only will go in to get a cold drink if it's hot outside (7-Eleven and Circle K's prices are much cheaper, however). Other than that...they tend to get my order wrong more often than not. It's more than an inconvience for me...I'm highly allergic to mayo, and ingesting it means a trip to the E.R. for a Epinephrine injection and 50mg of oral Benadryl...or croaking from anaphylatic shock! If they cannot get the order right...they do not get my business!
The various chain pizza establishments? The most expensive "fast food" in the industry...and what you pay for isn't quality. I once had a roommate from Sicilly, and his attitude towards pies made by Domino's, Pizza Hut, and Little Ceaser's was, honestly quite scathing! How so? He told me about the ovens used to bake the pizzas at the three aforementioned chains, and described the process as "S***ing Pizzas." Watch the process at a Dominos sometime to see what I mean.
And as for the various Taco Bells and Del Tacos? Most immigrants from south of the border (legal or not) will tell you that what you get there is "Gringoed-up Tex-Mex"...and that's if they are in a generous mood! The joke often goes that when you cross onto American soil, never drink the water--and for good American food, head for Taco Bell! None of the offerings at either restaurant is found much south of the border...if at all. All that you really get for your cash is mislabeled Americanized comida mexicana.
One of my most recurring nightmares is seeing Jack and Ronald wheeling large sums of money to Bank of America--and having a hellacious belly-laugh as they do. Then I see a young man being wheeled out of their fast-food emporium...in a body bag from a massive heart attack. Jack and Ronald return...and begin busting a gut anew at the sight, as the dead lad is taken to the County Morgue. All the while, I stand impotent as more people walk through them emporium's doors. Nothing I can do to shut those laughing clowns up...preferrably for all eternity!
Now you see why I avoid fast food altogether (unless I have no other choice). Normally, I fix better meals than their sleazeball offerings--and will often wait until I get home to do just that!
Not bad for a second entry for the day...