Ian Pike noon, Dec. 8
Good Morning! Today is April 15th...and your membership dues are due today! What dues? Why, your yearly dues to the greatest club of all...American citizenship! If you already have paid, our nation thanks you, and we'll see ya next year! But if you have waited until now? You bloody wanker--what's with you, anyway? Do you feel so put upon about paying your fair share that you must resort to such childish tactics as procrastination? The soon you get your form in, friend, the better off you will be...and so will we!
Oh, ho, you are one of those...not willing to stick a crowbar into your wallet and pay your fair share, are you? That's bad enough, but you also seem to drape Old Glory over the rancid pile of overripe cow dung you call "tax-fighting." So, you want the benefits our nation can give you...but yet, you have no intention of paying your way? You may call yourself "Patriotic," but I have another term for the likes of you who have the means, but not the desire, to pay your membership dues. Does "MOOCH" ring a bell?
Get with the program 'mano--Jarvis, Gann, and Reagan are now underground worm feasts. You may not know this, but not paying your dues--income taxes--is a Federal Felony. It took out Al Capone and Leona Helmsley--and if needed, will take you out as well. If it comes to a choice of paying my taxes and three-to-five in a Federal lockup? I'll sign the money order and ship it off to Uncle Sam, thank you!
Taxes are the lifeblood (green colored) of our government, and of We The People as well.Tax evasion, tax shelters, and procrastination about filing your forms deny our nation the resources it needs to continue functioning properly. If you are not willing to pay the dues you owe, you'd be tossed out of every other club that I know of. The government, however, can do lots worse to you than turn your credit rating adverse. Fines, levies, prison time, leins...they will get their dues while breaking your balls in the process. Save yourself the pain and the trouble. On your way over to the "Teaparty" in downtown San Diego...why not fill out and put your tax return in the mail right now? It will save you a lot of grief later on! Your Membership Committee thanks you! --RKJ