i probably started watching Grey's Anatomy because i liked the double entendre....

the main character's last name was Grey and my anatomy book in medicine was Gray's Anatomy....it was a thick and heavy expensive thing and my medical career depended on my poring thru it for 4 years...

i learned nearly every bone,organ and nerve in the body......so i can tell you for sure the heart is ONLY a pump....or is it

this is a piece about the gut's ...nerves and the heart of those thing...

so carry on and read if you want....for believe it or not, Izzy,Grey's Anatomy and me are connected in more ways then one in the practical art of medicine and love....

ahhhhhh yes medicine...my career and my life...and within the confines of a hospital i also found the unblemish truth about those i worked with and cared for...learned and taught....i also had a change of heart

working in medicine is a career that either makes you more malliable and sensitive to humanity....or hardens one to avoid the feelings the sick bring about....the nuts and bolts people do that ...get hardened....the REAL nurturers soften...engage in the sensitive emotional process and grow.....

IZZY the lovely little intern of Grey's Anatomy had fallen in love with a man who owned a well frequented bar across the street....his name was Denny ....he was a guy waiting for a heart transplant and had turned his own heart to mush because he was a long term drinker....alcohol does that to some you know.... among other things....

but i won't go into a practical on the evil of drinking right now

why was she wasting her time on this lug ????

he brought it on himself...he had a narrow chance of survival...BUT....he was beautiful...beautiful in that soulful way that many terminal patients are when they've lived long enough to appraise the ways of their own lives and living in general ....but they don't turn into pessimistic crabs...and don't take their anger out on everyone within sight and earshot...

often when little time is left...people become their best....i don't think it's because they want to have their death realised by any heavenly reward....but some surely do....

i think it's because they want to create a small but uncluttered and BETTER understood time frame for the time they have left on this earth....to finally maybe get it "all right" so to speak...A "WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT ALFIE" moment

when caregivers meet such as these...and they are themselves deeply compassionate .....they just naturally find themselves drawn to the "vision of another me" questors...i've done it....very recently in fact.....

but the transition from empathetic caring to intimate love and sharing can seem like quite a huge leap ....

YES... it can...and so many think this is only TV fare...TV is based on REAL life...so of course it can happen...

so au contraire....there ya go moving into a deeper and more stessful life adventure......and willingly....finding in your persona values and nobleness you never felt...or never had much chance to use before .....

you become heady...sometmes nearly inarticulate with the different feelings that soar high up into the purer mesmerizings elements of this new reality......and you become ...on a second by second basis...at one with the universe....Darshan!!

my goodness even saying it this way make the memory feelings swell up inside me~~blushes~~ and when IZZY'S darling Denny died after she had risked her career in medicine to get him a heart ...and layed next to his dusky dead body..and glazed over eyes....had to be lifted from his body by a loving friend.....time just stood still for viewers like me... knowing i too had lived that moment in a slightly different way....but death none the less...

and later at home when she hugged the tiles of her bathroom floor still in her evening gown...without enough balance to stand up and face her tomorrows...i was there too...and the truth of those emotions was shared with her by me.....my bathroom tiles have a permanent imprint of tears shed......

on the first show of the next season she stood in place outside of hospital for the whole day staring up but not going in....and late that nite a friend loaned her a sweater and walked her home.....

some of the viewer thought she was afraid to enter and talk to her superiors about her medical transgressions....but of course i knew that wasn't true....she couldn't face the surroundings that had brought her a love so deep and fulfilling ...a love who had seemed permanent after the heart transplant ...but lost in a minute to the cruelty of fate........relinguished .....no not that...torn from her....hearts do fail you know.....

well IZZY....i started climbing those steps back into life....and i know she will too...and it will be even easier on TV....where all is forgotten in a month of shows....

i hoped the writers wouldn't take it that fast ...because you and i have a story to share IZZY....and we need to take it slow to savor the aliveness of the past...we need to give that experience a proper burial...a REAL period of mourning....and to come to understand the knowledge of what that deathly experience has done to our hearts....

and that takes time...doesn't it...

the universe had changed the game....but then the universe is all about change... and as our lives changes there are lessons to be taught.....and to learn

None

when i was a climber i was called Wonderwoman because of my outfit and my boldness on the face

how i got that bold was because my career in Medicine had been the mother i lacked due to my own mothers mental illness

so at the time of these shows i thought

I'VE GOT YOUR BACK IZZY....

WONDER WOMAN'S ON YOUR SIDE

NEXT TIME SHE'LL HAVE HER LASSO OF TRUTH HANDIER ......AND MAYBE SHE CAN RESCUE BOTH OF US FROM A FATE WORST THEN DEATH....OR WIPE UP OUR TEARS FROM THE TILES.....TIME IS ON OUR SIDE GAL....TIME AND UNDERSTANDING AND FORGIVENESS....AND HOPE THAT THE STRENGTH WE'VE BEEN GIVEN THRU THOSE SPECIAL UNDERSTANDINGS HAVE TAUGHT US BETTER HOW TO LIVE

and that we are no longer

fragile

is the heart that still beats

so determined but often with some hesitation

wandering sometimes with only random participation

trying hard to feel elation but still

fragile

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwh8VCq1DCE

Mediine had became the mother i lacked....and i couldn't have had a better one ♥♥♥

i don't watch Grey Anatomy anymore...i stopped early into that next season when Izzy's story was given a hasty burial in her dismissal from the hospital and huge inheritance from Denny Will

she was brushed aside for other characters who would provide more interesting drama...

it was then that Izzy in tears baking cupcakes was over

and it was then i realized i was done with Grey's too

the world turned in it's orbit and took me to a brighter day

Comments

nan shartel May 12, 2012 @ 1:55 p.m.

medicine organised and gave importance to my life

None

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quillpena May 13, 2012 @ 9:52 p.m.

you go, nan ... although I've never seen Grey's Anatomy, however, I have heard it's very good.

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nan shartel May 14, 2012 @ 2:08 p.m.

the early shows were Quill....good character development and assemble participation

the Izzy/Denny story line was just the best...i'd seen examples of it many times to a greater or lessor extent around the hospital i worked in

and then i experienced it 4 myself

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richzombie May 14, 2012 @ 9:17 a.m.

nan - thoughtful - interesting - thank you for sharing this ...

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nan shartel May 14, 2012 @ 2:14 p.m.

i'm so glad u enjoyed it RZ...i enjoyed remembering and writing it

it was the most beautiful time frame in my life

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Ruth Newell May 14, 2012 @ 2:30 p.m.

Small and uncluttered. I can identify. Nice piece, Nan. Warm.

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nan shartel May 14, 2012 @ 2:38 p.m.

thx Roody...i admire ur abiliy to observe and the positive condensation quality of ur personality greatly

a rare commodity in anyone of any age these days

pretty please put more of ur poems up

and how that publishing gig going...i've been keeping my fingers crossed

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Ruth Newell May 14, 2012 @ 9:17 p.m.

I'm glad someone does and you are most welcome.:)

Thanks for your interest in my poetry, Nan. Generally speaking, if I post poems here I can't then sell them anywhere else. So, I've pulled those I had posted here. Making cards with some of them along with my photos, and a coffee table book as well. They'll be available on my blog.

I DO miss posting though:)

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nan shartel May 15, 2012 @ 7:04 p.m.

oh ...i didn't realize...well i knew the "best things in life weren't really free" but i must admit i'll hate losing ur talent here at the Reader poetrywise

the one thing any of us can count on is that things change..i'll check to see when ur selling them...be sure and let us know

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