Billy Collins 10 p.m., March 12
- Community Blog
Mental Cotton Candy
The president’s recent visit to Copenhagen got me thinking. You see, I spent almost six years living in Europe during my 20’s. It was definitely an eye-opening time. Now that I’ve been back in the States for over 10 years, I’ve had a chance to really reflect on that experience. I’m going to share some of my observations on Europeans with you. Some thoughts are “deep”, some are superficial, and some are just plain silly….
Let’s start with the superficial, shall we?
Observation #1 – European women can wear a worn out paper bag as a dress and still look better than their American counterparts. I still don’t understand how they do it. They make greasy, unkempt hair look chic. They can roll out of bed in the morning, shove their hair into a ponytail, dot on a smidgen of lipgloss, and still look amazing. They don’t waste their money on hair products, pantyhose or manicures. They would rather own one fabulous dress than a closet full of “outfits”. They are never on a “diet” (even if they really are). They wouldn’t dream of spending a small fortune on make-up. They will, however, splurge on a pricey bottle of perfume (even if they are in the poorhouse). They flirt, shamelessly, with anyone and everyone. Even the old broads flirt! They’re not at all afraid of aging like we Americans tend to be. In fact, I think they embrace it. Facelifts are an extreme rarity, reserved for politician’s wives, transvestites and talk show hosts. And last, but not least, they exude confidence no matter what they look like. Short, tall, big, small, wrinkly or saggy - they “work it” and work with whatever nature gave them.
There is one, glaring exception to these rules – Eastern Europe. The Eastern European ladies always looked like they were trying desperately to emulate some garish ‘80’s icon (and this was in the mid ‘90’s). Bless their hearts – you got to give them credit for trying so hard!
OK, I know there are far more pressing issues in this world than talking about Europeans…but I think sometimes, you just need some mental cotton candy, you know what I mean?