Walter Mencken 11 a.m., Nov. 27
- Community Blog
- Letters from jail
Can I just marry myself?
I know, I'm really in no position of being picky right now when it comes to a husband. But oh well, c'est la vie, what can I do about it? I have my profile on every single free dating website I know and as I'm full of myself most of the times I have no problems getting dates. Dates that usually end up at just a free diner. There are all kind of guys out there, older, younger, richer, crazier, hornier, smarter, boring as hell "I'm about to shoot my brains out" etc but I still have to find myself a husband material. Do I really ask for that much? I will entertain you and make your days brighter, I will cook and clean and work 4 jobs and bring money into the house, I will always have a smile on my face and if you really want you can even cheat on me, I really don't care as soon as I get that piece of paper of color green. We can sign a nuptial and you can divorce me in a couple of years if you want, no biggie. We can even be great friends afterwords! So I've been thinking last night after another horrible date; I could just marry myself. I mean my alter ego was born and raised in the US, he is as American as it gets. Annoys the hell out of me sometimes, he can be lazy but also so smart, he thinks he can do anything and he gets what he wants in most cases. But he is soo American sometimes and he sees the world with his stupid pink goggles, drives me crazy but I love him. It's my other half and we've been an item for a while now, we will be a great married couple and we can grow old together. Only if marring my American alter ego would also come with a green card, I don't think he can survive out of US if he has to come with me. His life would be at risk, maybe we could apply for asylum instead! Or change the law, after they pass the gay marriage they could let me marry myself and I will be happy, we both will!:)