Walter Mencken 3:39 p.m., June 18
"Because the Beyond factor."
That's what I told Oscar, manager of the Bed Bath and Beyond here in grand plaza.
I've tried three seasons in a row, finally he gave me a chance, got the interview.
"I've seen that movie too, Clickit, right? Ha ha loved that movie it was funny, ok so you want to work here because of the beyond factor ok."
I should have saved it for the end though, after that connection we had, I sputtered out, like a car stuck in the snow, spinning my wheels, I began to sweat, Oscar tried to get on serious ground, but it was useless, my fumes enveloped the entire room.
"Ok what would you do if a customer were dissatisfied?" asks Oscar, sitting back in his chair.
"I would offer them solace, explain how they've been conditioned to like or not like certain circumstances, and help them come to terms with the power of choice in the phenomenal realm we live in."
Oscar was not satisfied with this answer, but how could I say otherwise, lie? He goes on, "What would you do if BigFoot came into the store and needed something, uh I don't know, some pillows?"