A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"

"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus"

The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"

"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."

So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.

"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:

First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."

"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."

"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care of that problem."

The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!"

"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."

As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn tequila?!"

He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can. Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds! Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then nothing but silence!

Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body. He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?"

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Comments

Tallsharon Jan. 21, 2012 @ 4:33 p.m.

ha ha ha. i am so bad at telling jokes, it's embarassing! Love those that can pull it off. Oh....ha ha ha

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nan shartel Jan. 21, 2012 @ 6:20 p.m.

thx TS... a friend of mine told it to me...lol

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nan shartel Jan. 21, 2012 @ 6:19 p.m.

i thought u'd get a kick out of the Pit Bull part Mindy...lolol...

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Ruth Newell Jan. 21, 2012 @ 7:15 p.m.

I'm told Tequila will do that to people!

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nan shartel Jan. 23, 2012 @ 12:50 p.m.

only in the joke world Roody...altho in Tijuana donkeys r purported to.....

yikes and yuck...!!!

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Radical Uterus Jan. 22, 2012 @ 3:44 a.m.

I had to read it twice to figure it out. I thought the old woman never had sex, what's wrong with this picture? Then I felt sorry for the pit bull.

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quillpena Jan. 22, 2012 @ 6:32 p.m.

Let me get this straight: after the man drank the tequila his judgement and sense of reasoning became impaired and instead of removing the impacted tooth from the dog's mouth he, in a state of inebriated confusion, had sex with the dog, is this correct? If it, it's an absolute disgrace, that's all I can say on the subject. As far as I'm concerned nothing good can ever come from one's entering a tavern; they're dens of decadence, and nothing else. On another note, however, this alleged incident reminds me of a joke--you see this man with a parrot on his shoulder, walks into a bar and ...

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nan shartel Jan. 23, 2012 @ 12:48 p.m.

joke...joke...not an avocation of bestiality...and it would be disgraceful if it wasn't a joke...

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Ruth Newell Jan. 23, 2012 @ 7:01 p.m.

Well, QP, I know of sanctuaries that have become dens of decadence and a brazen vixen's boudoir that would make the likes of you blush...but you were saying...parrot? I like parrots!

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richzombie Jan. 23, 2012 @ 2:09 p.m.

not sure if i want to jump in / on this conversation of sorts... butt it appears as if my comment would be # 13...i am just going to refrain - web master just remove this now ! thank you .

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nan shartel Jan. 23, 2012 @ 2:21 p.m.

u can use ur "i'll hate u before the entree" phrase on me RZ if u want 2...lolol

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Ruth Newell Jan. 23, 2012 @ 7:05 p.m.

Cool--I call dibs on his, "You disgust me!" after desert phrase. And--JUMP, Zman! Geez Louise! Didn't Ms. Nan advise you to do so a few poems back? No pussyfootin'.

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nan shartel Jan. 24, 2012 @ 10:37 p.m.

jumpin' 4 joy i didn't get horsewhipped 4 repeating this rotting chicken story....

fortunately i'm not often disgusting...i'll try to be more often...hahahahahahahahahaha

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Dadler Jan. 23, 2012 @ 2:10 p.m.

Perfect! Just what I needed. You're a funny broad, Nan.

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nan shartel Jan. 23, 2012 @ 2:15 p.m.

it does offend the literal mind Dadler...but hey...peeps don't like Ricky Gervais either...lolol

thx hunnyshorts!!

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richzombie Jan. 24, 2012 @ 7:17 a.m.

that tequila is sounding pretty good about now ...

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