Brandon Hernández 5 p.m., March 26
Product placement: John Wayne Organic Beef Jerky
From the man who died with 40 lbs. of impacted feces in his colon comes a new taste treat! There's a little bit of Duke's "natural flavoring" in every bite of John Wayne Organic Beef Jerky.
John Wayne Organic Beef Jerky comes in three flavors: Camels, Jack Daniels, and Katy Jurado.
What jerk-off came up with the idea of John Wayne jerky? As a means of expanding the Duke's brand beyond "guns, knives, and saddles," grandson Ethan Wayne thought it wise to introduce a line of food products that bore the legendary western star's name.
Fortunately the threat of John Wayne Franks & Beans or Trail Chili (is that what you leave after eating it?) never materialized.
All this merchandising is getting to be re-goddamndiculous.
More like this:
- Old Town jerky: Cheap, cheerful Inca-chew — July 2, 2013
- Soylent Pink? — May 7, 2012
- Sunday Dinner And a Movie From Big!Lots — June 28, 2011
- 10 Ways for Michele Bachmann to Tell the Difference Between John Wayne and John Wayne Gacy — June 28, 2011
- The Jerky Survey — Dec. 2, 2004