Robert Bush 6:31 p.m., May 18
Product placement: John Wayne Organic Beef Jerky
From the man who died with 40 lbs. of impacted feces in his colon comes a new taste treat! There's a little bit of Duke's "natural flavoring" in every bite of John Wayne Organic Beef Jerky.
John Wayne Organic Beef Jerky comes in three flavors: Camels, Jack Daniels, and Katy Jurado.
What jerk-off came up with the idea of John Wayne jerky? As a means of expanding the Duke's brand beyond "guns, knives, and saddles," grandson Ethan Wayne thought it wise to introduce a line of food products that bore the legendary western star's name.
Fortunately the threat of John Wayne Franks & Beans or Trail Chili (is that what you leave after eating it?) never materialized.
All this merchandising is getting to be re-goddamndiculous.