Early look at Wild Animal Park, troubled elephants come to the zoo, China’s panda hunter and pandas end up in San Diego, the morality of SeaWorld’s dolphins
Various Authors 3:49 p.m., Dec. 3
Detention is nightmare for anyone who believes that Google is making us stupid. It skips merrily along from Point A to Point Q to Point G, and hopes you will be distracted/entertained enough not to wonder what happened to things like character and story. The key scene: A bunch of high-school kids are stuck in detention because of their association with a couple of murdered students. They believe the killer - who dresses as a character from a horror franchise - is among them. To find out his next move, they torrent a copy of the franchise's unreleased next installment. Which installment naturally features kids stuck in detention, trying to find the killer among them, and illegally downloading a film to find out what happens next. Of course, what happens next is a murder, and all that meta isn't enough to stop it. It's like that. There are so many layers to everything that it's impossible to feel much of anything at all, and the only defense against the ensuing boredom is to pick out individual film references from among the blenderized genre sludge. Josh Hutcherson (of Hunger Games fame) stars. 2012.
Reading rating: No stars.