Various Authors 1 p.m., Aug. 28
Review: The Sitter
The Sitter opens with Jonah Hill performing oral sex on Ari Graynor. Talk about trying hard to establish a fantasy universe — I'd sooner believe Dumbo flew.
If it wasn't for plot coincidence there would be no plot at all in this on-the-cheap re-imagining of Uncle Buck's Adventures in Babysitting. Hill pays a slob assigned the task of babysitting a trio of ill-behaved, biracial neighbor kids. When Graynor calls offering intercourse in exchange for coke, Hill packs up his charge for a wild ride through the urban ghetto.
The cocaine-and-kids jokes fared much better in A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas, which plays like Noel Coward compared to this. What the hell happened to director David Gordon Green? Starting out with a string of intelligent independent releases (All the Real Girls, Undertow, Snow Angels) Green flopped on his back and spread his legs for Hollywood green faster than just about any other director on record.
Fans of Jonah's hill will have to act fast. It's not as if he hasn't already gifted us with a lifetime's worth of pig comedies, but in light of Hill's recent drastic weight loss (and starring role opposite Brad Pitt), there probably aren't too many of these crude outings left in his future. Too bad the same doesn't hold true for recent sell-out Sam Rockwell (Gentlemen Broncos, Cowboys & Aliens*) whose performance as yet another warmed-over coke dealer is pathetic.
Reader Rating: Zero Stars
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