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FRANK ZAPPA COMIX AND STORIES

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TOP 5 CLUES THAT YOUR LOCAL BAR IS FULL OF JUNKIES

5) People keep trying to sell you car stereos.

4) Customers complaining about no locks on the bathrooms.

3) Nobody ever touches the munchies.

2) Restroom vending machine dispenses clean needles.

1) There are junkies everywhere.

TOP 5 POTENTIAL HOUSE OF BLUES KILLERS

5) Land south of Broadway is declared an Indian reservation, with a concert venue booked by Viejas Entertainment.

4) Odors of urine and CK1 mix to become killer toxic clouds.

3) Spreckels is bought by CBGBs.

2) Booking actual blues bands.

1) They have to let Dan Ackroyd and Jim Belushi eat anything they want for free.

TOP 5 WAYS TJ CLUBS DIFFER FROM SAN DIEGO VENUES

5) In San Diego, only cops and gym teachers blow whistles in your ear.

4) In TJ, old men can legally get 18 year-old girls drunk before being insulted and blown off by them.

3) San Diego cover bands play Pink Floyd OR Willie Nelson, not both.

2) Two words – Bacardi Bong.

1) San Diego restrooms don’t make you pay for toilet paper by the square (yet).

TOP FIVE REASONS BEHIND GASLAMP’S RESURGENT NIGHTLIFE

5) Bragging rights RE how far you had to walk from your parking space.

4) Valet attendants, cabbies, waiters, barkeeps, street musicians and homeless window washers provide opportunities to impress date with heavy tipping.

3) Downtown condo owners walk everywhere (they don’t have enough money left to drive after paying for monthly parking).

2) Free window box manure courtesy horse-drawn carriages.

1) Everyone you meet will agree with you about how much the Hard Rock Hotel sucks, without anyone ever actually going there.


FALLEN PINOY IDOLS

After getting caught partying in San Diego, four contestants of a Filipino American Idol/Big Brother style talent show have been booted from the program’s support tour.

Pinoy Dream Academy features twenty aspiring performers living in the “Academy” for four months of multimedia training by guest star instructors. While the most recent top-six contestants made a tour stop in San Diego last month, four of them (along with guest star Yeng Constantino) “spent their last night in San Diego imbibing spirits and smoking in a non-smoking room in the hotel where the group was billeted,” according to Manila Standard Today.

“Yeng reportedly puked on the carpet, while the other intoxicated [contestants] lost their sense of propriety, spilling cigarette butts from the ashtray onto the floor.”

Show producers at Dream Big Productions say the quartet - Chad Peralta, JayR Siaboc, Panky Trinidad, and Irish Fullerton - violated the company’s strict rules against drinking and smoking while on tour.

Trinidad was additionally booted from the band Cebalo, which is “managed” (actually owned) by Dream Big; Filipino newspapers are quoting his reaction as “I don’t have to take this sh_t.”

Peralta has reportedly moved back to his former home in Australia, Siaboc returned to the village of Toledo City, while Fullerton has relocated to the U.S, to live with her mother near San Francisco. The next season of Pinoy Dream Academy is in production.



Like this blog? Here are some related links:

OVERHEARD IN SAN DIEGO - Several years' worth of this comic strip, which debuted in the Reader in 1996: http://www.sandiegoreader.com/photos/galleries/overheard-san-diego/

FAMOUS FORMER NEIGHBORS - Over 100 comic strips online, with mini-bios of famous San Diegans: http://www.sandiegoreader.com/photos/galleries/famous-former-neighbors/

SAN DIEGO READER MUSIC MySpace page: http://www.myspace.com/sandiegoreadermusic

JAY ALLEN SANFORD MySpace page: http://www.myspace.com/jayallensanford

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